Felix's POV :
W-why do I feel so weak..? My eyes feel so heavy ; it feels like I haven't slept in weeks..! I need my pills, they will make me feel alive but I don't even have the strength or energy to grab them! Gosh this is frustrating but what can I do about it.. I just remember being hunched over the toilet spilling out my intestines out in the bathroom, then I got exhausted and fell asleep right after auntie was talking to me. I feel the smallest hint of hunger but I can't stand the thought of food without just feeling sick again..
"Are you awake..?"
I can tell that it's Hyunjin, I want to open my eyes to see my best friend but I physically can't ; I'm too exhausted..
"I am.."
"That's a relief, get some rest. We have school tomorrow.."
"Okay.. What's the time..?"
"Oh it's 1pm!"
Already!? I'm wasting away just laying lifeless in bed, I'm conscious but it feels like I'm unconscious ; trapped in my own thoughts.
"I'll get mom to give you your medicine but I'll go now since I have homework..!"
"Okay.. thanks.."
It's a relief that Hyunjin doesn't seem to be worried or anything! I should've told Hyunjin or auntie that I felt bad in the morning ; that could've prevented everything.. I'm dreading school but Hyunjin will be there with me so it's not that bad!
"How are you feeling sweetheart?"
Oh it's auntie..! Her hands are so soft on top of mine..
"I feel better..! Just tired.."
"That's good! It's time to take your medicine, I called your parents and they told me that now you have to have the medicine at least three times a day!"
Three times a day..? I already hate having to take it once, has my condition worsened??
"B..but wouldn't that be too much for me..?"
"Your mom said it will make you feel more drowsy but it'll help you sweetheart..!"
Drowsy..? I don't want to feel like a living zombie, I don't want to be all drugged up!?
"B..but I don't want.. it..!"
Mrs Hwang's POV :
"B..but I don't want.. it..!"
He's scared.. I don't want to force him into anything since he's so delicate but this will help him, it's heartbreaking..
"Don't worry sweetheart, it won't hurt I promise!"
"N-no..! Can't I just..just take my n-normal dose..!?"
I can't watch him in such a state, he's only 16..
"It's okay Felix, just calm down..Taking three doses will help you get better and stronger..!"
He's about to cry.. He's slowly loosing himself but he's just not seeing it! How can a 16 year old be in so much pain?!
"I.. I want my... mom...!"
I can't possibly respond to that..
Hyunjin's POV :
This painting is looking beautiful ; it's probably one of the best I've worked on! For once, I feel proud of myself without guilt weighing me down, thank you Felix! I bet it's so hard for him I seriously just can't imagine it anymore, I want to make him the happiest boy alive! I want to see his bright cheery smile everyday, I want to see his angelic freckles everyday. How is school going to be for him? Most people knew Felix had a condition and no one made fun of him from what I know. I'm starting to think that was because Felix didn't 'look sick' but now he's thin and he just looks different.. Why does it sound like Felix is yelling? It's pretty clear since I'm painting facing the wall what his bed lays on, I should go check up on him..
"I.. I want my... mom...!"
What is going on?! Why is he so startled?!
"What's wrong??"
Is mom crying..? She's hunched over the side of his bed but I can't see her face, I'm just guessing that she's crying due to her posture..
Felix looks uncomfortable and petrified, what's happening?!!
"Okay.. I'm not going to give you the medicine sweetheart! Let me just speak to Hyunjin.."
"Huh-??"
What does she want to talk to me about? The medicine.. Felix needs that medicine though, why is she saying she's not going to give him it?
"Hyunjin, please talk to that boy for me..!"
"What do you mean..?"
"His parents told me to change his dosage amount to three times a day but he won't take the medication.. You're the only one he'd listen to!"
Why would he listen to me? If he is frightened about taking that much medication then he's frightened, I can't do much.. Mom is too anxious for me to say 'No'..
"Okay.."
He's crouched up in his bed biting his lip, is he that scared of a dosage top up? Gosh his hand feels so hot!
"What's so scary about taking your medication?"
"Of course you say that, are you the sick one?"
I don't want to admit it but he's right, I hate having to act like his life is easy but maybe he'll listen to me.
"I honestly can't imagine how painful it is for you but can you please just trust me for once? Do you seriously think your mom would tell my mom to give you more medicine for no reason?"
I can tell that he's already exhausted from my lecturing just by his face. I really want him to take care of himself from now on, I really despise seeing Felix refuse taking his medication and this is the first time I've seen this happen yet my heart still aches.
"Fine.."
Was it that easy..?
"Are these the pills?"
"Yeah.."
"Hold your hand out."
His hand looks so soft still, how does he do it?
The pill fell onto his hand but it almost looked heavy to his delicate hand ; it reminded me of something so so familiar..? Felix placed the pill onto his tongue and dryly swallowed it ; his eyes fixed towards me, those teary eyes are just doing something to me..! He wants to believe that he is getting better but we all know that his illness just seems to slowly but surely take over his weak fragile body. His immune system can't handle all of this pain, he's already refusing to take his medicine to me that's a sign that he's not getting any better. I also want to believe that he's growing stronger by the day but I can't gaslight myself into believing that anymore until I see a drastic difference, it's not like I want to believe that he's eventually going to become a star but his spark is floating away from him. At the age of five I thought that everyone who passes away will visit the stars and become one, but Felix's situation just feels rather different.. To live on my childhood fantasy whenever Felix loses his battle against this cruel cruel world I'm going to tell myself that he's now a beautiful flower. That boys obsession with the 'Lily Of The Valley' flower has always caught my eye. Once again, I'm going to tell myself that when Felix loses his battle he will be a star or a beautiful flower ; just to make him know that he has a special place in my heart. You can see that he really doesn't want to die, he doesn't want to visit the stars or visit a grand field filled with his favorite flower ; he wants to continue to live in this diabolical world.
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lily of the valley 🌷˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ .
Ficção Geral'maybe we'll meet again in a different universe.' he was sick but why was that my problem? i tried my best to help him but nothing seemed to help, so why do we try help the sick hopeless people? (ongoing : NOT a SHIP story - the duo is hyunjin & fe...
