CW!! More mentions of abortion. If this topic bothers you, I really recommend you skip this chapter and the next. Please do what's best for you and your comfort.
~Jisung is seven weeks now, and has yet to call the clinic back to set a date for his procedure. He's been putting it off, but he knows he shouldn't. Minho has been texting him often over the past week and checking in on him. He doesn't respond. Everytime he sees the alpha's name, he's consumed by guilt.
Felix keeps encouraging him not to ignore Minho, reasoning that the alpha may understand the way he feels better than anyone. Jisung disagrees, he doesn't think the alpha could possibly understand how he feels. The closest person to understanding what he's going through could be Felix. The other omega has been nothing but supportive and always offers a non-judgmental listening ear. It feels good to talk to someone about it that has nothing to do with the birth of the kid. It's not like Jisung has told anyone but Felix and Minho, but he doesn't plan on telling anyone about this but those two. He hopes that this will all go away once the procedure is done.
"Me and Chan-hyung are going on a bar-crawl this weekend. Yongbok-ah's got Nabi and I just got paid, so you know what comes next." Changbin jokes from his desk across from Jisung's. The omega is barely listening though, he's being wracked by some of the worst nausea he's ever experienced in his life. "You're gonna come, right? It's about time all three of us got together for some adult fun." The alpha continues, not noticing the paling of the younger's face.
Before Jisung can respond, he feels bile crawling up his throat and decides that he won't make it to the restroom without throwing up on expensive electronics. The omega opts to vomit into the closest and cheapest thing he can find. Which is luckily, a trash bin. He feels like he's puking and then dry heaving for a while before his stomach is calming down.
"Are you okay?" Changbin questions with a look of equal surprise and concern. Their other colleagues are looking at the omega with varying levels of disgust at his vomit and concern for his well-being.
"I think I'm gonna have to go home early..." Jisung says with his voice hoarse from the abuse it'd just taken. He looks at his manager who quickly nods his permission for him to go.
Jisung grabs his bag- and the trash bin- then goes home. He tosses the disgusting bin on the way out and gets on the bus to go home. Minho texted him again.
Lee Minho (12:33PM): Hey. Not sure how you're doing since you won't reply to my messages, but let me know if you're okay when you're ready.
The message makes Jisung sigh tiredly before he ultimately decides to ignore Minho again. He just doesn't know what to say to him. Maybe it'll come to him eventually and he can apologize for ghosting him. For now though, he just needs time alone.
When he gets home Seungmin isn't around, and his apartment is eerily cold and quiet. Things just feel so strange. Nothing feels right and it always feels like there's a bowling ball on a string over his head. He needs to get this stuff sorted out if he wants to get back to normal. It'll probably take time, but he will get back to normal. He hopes.
He opens his wallet and takes out the business card to the clinic he'd been to almost a week ago. If he wanted his life to go back to how it was, he has to go through with taking care of the... it. He feels so gross and ashamed of himself when he thinks of the life growing inside of him as trash to be thrown out, versus what it is. It's alive. No matter how he flips it, it's got a heart now. He could've probably heard it beat at that ultrasound if he'd asked.
It's not helping you to think like that, he reminds himself. He shakes his head of the thoughts and dials the number to the clinic with his fingers trembling. It rings, and rings. It feels like it rings for an eternity before someone answers.
"Hello, this is Seola. How can I help you?" A feminine voice answers and Jisung's mouth suddenly goes dry.
"Hi, um, I came in a week ago for a- uh, check-up? I was told to call you guys when I was ready to schedule the... procedure? The, um, termination?" He stammers over his words, unsure of what or how to say something like this.
"What is your name and date of birth?" Seola asks him professionally.
"Han Jisung. 14 September 2000." He responds and hears typing on the other line.
"We have an availability on December 2nd, at 11:15AM. You would have another ultrasound performed before the procedure." Seola tells him in response and Jisung swallows nervously. Putting a date on it certainly makes it real, doesn't it?
"Okay, that works. Thank you." He responds shortly and she bids him goodbye before ending the call. The omega goes into his room and sits on the bed as if in shock. Why is this so hard for him? This is what he needs to do, for him, for Minho, for the baby.
He doesn't really know why, but he sends Minho a text- an update.
Han Jisung (1:04PM): I scheduled it. It's on December 2nd. Everything will be fine.
He thinks the text reads awkward and impersonal, but he doesn't know what else to say. He had to tell Minho he was going through with it, but he didn't want to tell him after the fact.
Minho doesn't reply, and Jisung can't help but not blame him.
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