ComPlex by JamesNN

1:07:20-39

1:07:20 When I felt I had made ​​enough dramatic TV, I stumbled back to room 308 and tried to "see" if there were any "red" doors up there. I explained that the electricity in the Presenters body, controlling the life of every cell, made me feel dumber and dumber. Everyone could see that the doors were made ​​of exactly the same forlorn plywood. How could I possibly communicate that on another level there is actually a red door here, designated by my subconscious as the "right" one to pick?

1:07:21 I am trying to discard the physical senses, I explained to the man with the camera. I am looking for the door in the dark, with my eyes closed, trusting the third eye. As I said this I realized that finding the right door had nothing to do with winning or losing. It was all about finding the right door in a higher, wiser all seeing, all knowing reality. The door that on a much larger scale will be the best for me to open.

1:07:22 Mother, I sobbed outside room 308. I am your firstborn, your shame, your self-inseminated son, the semen you wiped up with a nail from the lust-chamber floor. I was your burden in the canned food pyramid, I was the one you were not ready for, the one you did not have the time or patience for while you danced for your life and edited supermarket videos. Now I am the anchor intended to make it easier for you to stay in contact with your body and breath. I am the life force following the meridians, making it possible to regulate the flow of energy inside you, I muttered and felt drawn to room 207.

1:07:23 Mother, I am the one who wore you out, that made you sick and loony. I ruined your career, gave you back pain, wrinkles and glasses. If my statements are not edited out, they will surely bring a large audience, I thought, but decided to focus more on the micro cosmic circle, which consists of two channels, one along the back and one at the front. This circuit has been used for centuries to transform raw biological propagation energy to a lighter, more refined energy that can improve one's health and lust.

1:07:24 I'll take the rear channel along the spine behind the door, to a reservoir in the brain, I continued, and down to the upper palate. The front channel runs from the tip of the tongue, down to the heart reservoir, on to a reservoir in the abdomen and further, maybe a thousand meters vertically to penis-sharks and perineum-stones, where the rear channel starts. By touching the tip of the tongue against the palate I give myself a chance to be near you again, Mom. The circle closes, and the energy can flow freely.

1:07:25 I heard you giggle in the background, and it irritated me. I was vulnerable, I shared vulnerable experiences. What is it exactly you want to tell the reader through my book? I asked, a little annoyed and took my penis out. I understand your motif of clearing yourself from the injustice done to you, but beside that. Do you have a specific message, or is the whole project just about lust? You stopped laughing. Men like you are fleeing from themselves, you said and got up from the chair. This, you added and poked a finger on the huge stack of papers, is just consciousness in layers, the truth behind the lie, and the lie behind the truth. Did you ever consider developing a premise for the drama? Maybe we should sit down and discuss the narrative and the characters?

1:07:26 Not much has happened so far, I replied. Uncle and I are at a cemetery in Inn Freezonia. I was spying on you in the shower just after aunt gave mother, then a nurse at our school, her business card. We have been through parts of my childhood, and had a look at some of the abuses you and your girlfriends were convicted for. You came to me, and I could see by the look in your eyes that you intended to seduce me. Can you remember how I urged you to be completely open with me about your longings when you were home on leave from prison? I hastily added. We agreed that you should try to talk to me about it even if you hadn't finished formulating it in your head.

1:07:27 What was it you just said about energy? you asked and sat down on my lap. It was just the fact that energy is flowing within all of us, I said. If energy stops flowing, it's a pretty sure sign that you are dead. Of course, you weren't particularly impressed by my joke. The best way to notice the energy is to be in contact with the body and the breath, I continued. When you become aware of the flow of energy in the body, you can feel it. The Commander feels it as a kind of heat; tingling, pricking, like static electricity, a pulse, humming, buzzing and bubbling.