ComPlex by JamesNN

1:10:40-59

1:10:40 The Commanders courses, of course! That's the experience I need for the registration form. I still kept the binders in the closet next to the operating table, and remembered clearly how he encouraged us to cure majorphilia. Take care of your notes and drawings, he said. Sometime you may want to take a look at your targets again, and feel the life force they secrete. Seriously, we don't know why the dices are lying on the carpet, our friend replied. It is a mystery, but some believe it may have to do with genes or neuroscience. Others believe it is due to remote viewing experiences early in life. Probably the truth lies somewhere in between.

1:10:41 So this is your essence, I said with a smile and put the conversation on hold while I licked your finger. The effect was overwhelming and immediate. Even a small taste on the tip of the tongue was insanely invigorating. Give the stranger what you have left before he croaks, I urged you, and came to think about my own near-death experience. The Junkie-angel had just dumped me when I threw myself on the scooter and spun up the Freezoniaroad. A yellow Kadett rounded the bend and came straight towards me. I could not avoid it, and drove straight through.

1:10:42 Is it even possible to prevent children from being attracted to adults? I think it is difficult, like trying to change gay attraction, our friend answered. You stuck your finger tip with the rest of the powder in between the stranger's chapped lips, and spiritualized the atoms there. Do you think the reader expects me to resurface as enlightened? I asked flippantly into the air. Not if you continue like this, you answered. Just now it's more likely that I perish, I sighed. Suicide is lurking in the words here, impotence come crawling in between the lines. Other woman's professional betrayal is in particular wearing me down. Remember how that sex-researcher stabbed the girls? We even knew her.

1:10:43 Oh, what a lousy server community we lived in at the time, probably hacked by masculinists, chain stores, the tax industry and sugar-government. Women were generally exposed to moral persecution and criminalization. A weary place to stay, to say the least. When you came into the bedroom with the Cool Down CD from the Commanders courses, and some target-envelopes, I pretended to be asleep, trying not to think about the degradation you and the girls must have felt when the hormones drew you towards the nude beach. The shame you must have felt when you were not able to refrain from downloading adult lust-graphics, and desperately tried to delete electronic traces. Not to mention the nasty feeling of being monitored.

1:10:44 I groped for your genitals just a few miles to the outside of Torus, like a drowning man. The wild sadness over a lost child trying to avoid sinking into depression by hanging on to the slippery walls of your vagina. On the border, from one server to another, everything changes. Like the fact that half of all Westonians celebrate when their children are lost to adolescence and maturity. They don't even think that mouth-lusting is more serious than a really good kiss. In Neutronia however they have the same laws as here, just the other way around. And while the Freezonian legislation equals the same innocent oral activity with a full-blown act of inter-lust, has almost every adult Neutronian woman, at least once, entertained themselves freely with younger men abroad.

1:10:45 Only a thin wall and an unlocked door separated us from he children, my sister in law, your brother and your mother as I squeezed my head against your stomach, licking the varnish off your withheld skin. Yet you were there for me. Lapsing and drooling I poked my fingers inside you. Don't worry, I said. My stepfather is a policeman, from the same corps that finally got the Commander's blessing to lay you naked in my arms. This is not illegal anymore, I whispered. You are my wife now, the beloved mother to our children. And despite all the tensions, uneasiness and nervousness around anything having to do with lust, you came to me that afternoon with a kind of grounded craving in your body.

1:10:46 Majorphile teen age girls don't normally take so much stimulation, so fast, I said and groaned. Do you mean that they never will be accepted in the same way as gays? you replied, visibly aroused. No, but I think majorphiles may have a question: If mother dies, will they be better understood? Yes, more, yes, yes! Some generations into the future, we might come to accept some forms of lust-related contact between girls and adult men, a kind of contact that is not imposed on the men by teasing their hormones, that does not victimize them, and is not based on only the girls benefiting from the situation. In short; will the fragile time left in her soul become a bird, or will mothers dwindling life juices be spread over a whole flock?