ComPlex by JamesNN

1:06:00-19

1:06:00 I just don't want a bunch of invisible people in our relationship, I concluded and tried to shift focus. One of the doors here leads to my mother, and two walls are covered in mirrors. Am I changing into a person I do not want to be? I pondered while the boat passed the school-containers where you and the kids were still asleep. I saw uncle's barn, boathouse on pebble beach and his container while we glided by them. I also overheard a couple Westonian tourists: What happened to Susanne? one of them asked. She changed her mind and wanted to have kids, the other replied. I was not too sure.

1:06:01 It's enough with the Jack you mouth-lusted in the shower at a course with the Commander and the Junkie angel. A mental image that has haunted me so often. When the same Jack appeared in the operating theatre, I felt just as small as when I followed the Presenter's knees over the glaciers of container floors. Uncle looked at me with this knowing look. You must be able to ask each other about everything, he said. Play it out if you need to, look at it with open eyes, create a dramatization, be honest. Express what it really is like, not just how it looks, or what it represents. Greet each other in respect, thankfulness and boundless love.

1:06:02 On the way to the gangway and the ferry terminal at the other end of the journey, uncle asked if we had ever made love in a lamp store, I said. That's hardly any of his business, you responded while I casually studied the surgery bulbs; bright, light elven creatures scattered all over the container roof. Somehow I thought of all the turmoil I have inside, that I sleep short and badly, and wake up too early. You must penetrate the crude, obvious, serious surface of fact, so that we all can reach the ultimate truth of our entire mental and physical structure, the Jack said. I'll return to the boat yard when you're done here, he concluded, as if he knew something we did not know about silky fingers, firm, ecstatic grips and extra sensory body heat.

1:06:03 Maybe I should use the opportunity and simply steal a few minion bulbs for the lust-graphical half-sister of mine, I thought and envision her and your daintiness at the nude beach, strutting around there in the other men's gaze. How did you feel when I asked you to rub your clit in front of a masculine guy from the workshop? He winked at you over a bed of enlightened metal splinters, his lathe and uncles outboard motor. I really don't know if it is good for me not to cum, as the Commander advocates so strongly. To not empty myself for months, even years. A storm raged inside me. The red-hot frogs were all over my system, whipping up tension between us; the avowed, that fateful landslide, the shift of phase when we lose touch and there is no turning back. A simple ejaculation before bed-time sure feels good.

1:06:04 The Commander also says that silicone based lubricant is the best, and when you fully understand the depths of that insight you cease to react blindly and further mind-fuck. I can help you de-armour your vagina, anus and throat, I said. Lust-talk you, lick you clean and eat your bodily lust-areas until we are free from all suffering, and experience true happiness. Then, even the old impurities will gradually begin to dissolve.

1:06:05 The Presenter asked me to tell the viewers how I was going to solve the problem. I will bring my love to gang-bang sessions in lust-clubs, I explained, and take the next course level with her. But first I need to find mother, with you. Always with you. I know you were not asleep when I left you. By now you probably lie awake on the mattress, staring at the same cryptic pattern in the ceiling that I have done. A voice inside me said it was enough now, so I shook my head and answered, seriously, that I would head for one of the upper rooms facing to the exterior of the container-wing.

1:06:06 You decided pretty early not to say or do anything that could disturb my peace, sorry that I was sorry, and nervous about me not feeling good about being on a vacation with your family. I thought of the motherly caresses you sometimes give me, mouth-lusting me when the sperm has soured in the pouch, and I am no longer capable of being near you. I brought those memories on, and let them inspire me while I consulted my research from when I was waiting in the car. It aroused me. Let's role play your shower date, I suggested. Tell me the whole story from when the first fascination arose, until you stood naked with the Jack in the trickling water and whispered in his ear: May I suck you off?