Here's something I learned:
My problem was that I didn't realize how much pain he was causing me because I was becoming so numbed by the love I had for him.
He didn't give back the same energy he received from me, but, I still gave in to him.
Every time I did something wrong or felt like I did something wrong, I'd always take the fall so hard it almost destroyed me.
But, when he did something wrong?
I was always the one trying to find ways to fix his mistakes.
He just sat back and relaxed while I broke my back bending over backwards trying to do anything and everything I possibly could for him.
Did I do it because I loved him?
Because I believed that he loved me?
It took me years to realize that it wasn't love.
At least not for him.
It was just a form of manipulation for him.
I don't know what I thought he was doing all those times he would take hours or even days to respond to my texts.
I always made whatever excuses I was able to come up with for him.
"Maybe he's just busy."
"He's probably just tired and sleeping a lot."
He would've talked to me if he actually wanted to.
He was never too busy for me.
He just didn't care.
