"What I'm trying to say is, I can keep a secret, for as long as I like. I can take secrets to my grave." her tone lowers, their eye contact doesn't ease, "But I need you to promise me you'll do that too. Because if you do, we'll be okay. We'll be sa...
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Vivi doesn't know why she's doing this again.
There's times she can go days without talking to anyone. She can prolong her silence to a week if she wants to and she wouldn't have no struggle whatsoever. She can shut down completely, hide from everyone and the rest of the world and sometimes it comes a bit too easy for her.
But then there are times she cannot sleep if things aren't right with someone. She cannot operate normally. She cannot even think straight, everything feels hazy and a static sound fills her ears. Yet the worst part is, she'll try to make things right even if she doesn't have to. Even if it's someone else that's at fault.
She's a people pleaser. She hates the thought of someone being angry with her. She hates the thought of someone getting angry with her because she's angry with them. She's afraid of the feeling she gets when she doesn't know what went wrong but loathes the feeling when she knows what went wrong but the other person isn't doing anything to fix it.
And so here she goes again, to fix things. Because she's had enough of the lonely sleepless nights. Even though there's only three behind her. But she cannot continue like this, she cannot keep living in the unknown. She needs something to reminisce when she's alone, she needs the feeling of his hands against her skin fresh and not dated. She needs to know everything's alright, she needs to see it in his eyes.
The wind is a lot more powerful today. It grabs onto Vivi's hair, waves it around as she walks around her home, hands in the pockets of her thin army green coat. The whistling of the wind hides the loud beating of her heart, calms her down at least a little as her nervousness isn't that visible and audible.
She spots a familiar person in the distance, in a grey t shirt and black oversized pants. He walks in a relaxed matter, hands in his pockets, as always, while he looks around and makes sure the surroundings are safe. For her.
The thought of him doing things for her would warm her heart if he didn't get paid for it. It would solve a lot, make everything a lot easier.
"Jungkook." she calls for him when she's closer.
He stops with his steps, turns around to see her approaching him, the wind in her hair giving her such a ethereal appearance. His heart flutters, he wants to smile but when there's not one on her lips, he doesn't.
"Can we talk?" she quietly asks as she reaches him, leaves a two meter distance to him.
It sounds bad. It always does.
Jungkook briefly checks their surroundings, makes sure no one is able to hear them, "Yeah. Is everything okay?"
"No, I..." she answers quickly, wants to let go of this stupid act she's been holding on to for too long, "I don't want to be like this. Like we're... Not on good terms or something. Can we please just..." she speaks quietly, closes the distance between them surprisingly soon. But it's just the way he looks at her with his doe eyes that makes her act, innocence glistening in them like never before.
