When up-and-coming model Isabelle meets talented but jaded photographer Milo, sparks fly despite their age difference. Their romance becomes the talk of the New York City fashion scene, fueling rumors and speculation about their scandalous affair. A...
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The Tuesday later that week, she was having a hard time. In the dark, sitting on her couch. The heaviness of the world pressed on her chest.
And the bruise on her chest, a 'love mark' turned to sadness.
Why does she always do this?
Causing her own self demise.
In an attempt to regain control, prove something to somebody, but mostly feel closer to him again...Isabelle went out that week alone. To a club. And once she saw a man who looked like Milo in the right light and under the right level of toxicity, she kept him in her thoughts as the club filled up, even as some other man was talking ehr ear off.
She lost him, but when she spotted him again with his friend, she made her move.
She walked to where they were standing, which was conveniently beside a high bar top, and she placed her empty Corona bottle on it.
There was a drone flying around the club, and she used that as an opportunity to comment on it.
"That thing is going to hit us in the head sooner or later," she turned grinning, to the two men.
She was looking at the one that she thought looked like Milo. There was something about his beard and his facial structure, but up close she saw that it was deifnielty not like Milo either.
After they talked, she was surprised to learn that this man was from a North African country...he looked so exotic.
His friend dragged him there apparently.
One thing led to another and they were there in the middle of. The club and he put his arm around her, and she let him kiss her.
Later in the night, when she insisted she go home alone, he insisted he come with her, and she let him do that as well.
When they were having sex, she was yelling Milo's name in her mind, and she was shocked at that. Surprised she didn't yell it out loud.
So there she was, 72 hours later, on her couch. This stranger grabbed her breasts so hard that she got a bruise. Which hurt, and was not great for her upcoming bikini shot.
The worst part was, after getting close to someone she just missed him so much.
It was crushing her.
And what if he was with someone else, like this? But not physically, what if he liked her?
She couldn't bear the thought.
She didn't know what was happening to her, but it was like a fast decline going nowhere.
At first, she thought the stranger would at least text her, so the day after the next after their encounter, she texted him, and they had some banter. But then, on Tuesday, he didn't say anything back after her last 'nighty night' to him.
She felt sick at the thought that she was looking for someone to love her the way that Milo showed her she could be loved. In a way that she didn't know was possible.
The sad music wasn't helping her case, but then: write about what you would say to him.
She thought it was foolish, to keep writing Milo ghost letters, which she knew she'd never send, but it was the only thing she could do to go from going crazy.
She had no idea about anything, but she didn't understand why she still missed him so much, and why she was so scared of somebody else loving him. Or worse, him loving somebody else.
She felt physically sick.
She picked up the pen, feeling its weight in her hand, and took a breath.
I hate it here. Like I knew I would. This land of banalities and getting away from you. Why did I get away from you? It hurts.too.much...We had our own problems, but now I'm all alone, and walking on unsteady ground, and this emptiness is crushing me from the inside. The black hole from your presence. All I do is look for someone that resembles you. I don't know what I thought I;D get by getting away from you. Everywhere I carry my own problems (and good things as well) and even worse everywhere I carry the baggage of missing you. And my arms are about to fall off trying to carry it throughout the day. It's all up and down....up and down. We were happy once, weren't we? I know what they'd tell me, that I should probably keep holding out for something else instead of holding on to you, but how can I ? Did we find it, for a moment? Only to lose it, love....
Isabelle was getting herself into trouble and she didn't know how to stop it.
She's done this before, with the other great love of her life [that still pales in comparison to miLO]. She watched him move away and find somebody else, and Isabelle felt like she was staying in the same place. Now that she found something else, why couldn't she claim it? She will never know what the right choice is because such a thing simply does not exist.
She realized this whole last year and a half had been so incredibly hard, she didn't even realize the weight she was carrying. And the darkness, it felt like, was only punctured by the brief moments in her time that she spent with him.
