can't be friends

safety net - 4

Emily's POV
Saturday

JJ's game is today so the whole group chat is going to support. We have all been hanging out a lot lately and starting to become a friend group. Derek and Spencer treat each other like brother and sister and I swear Penelope and derek are secretly hooking up.

We gather on the bleachers of the soccer field right as the game started. JJ wasn't playing yet so I didn't really care for this part.

"Waiting until you can cheer on your little girlfriend huh." Derek says. "You need some pussy. You are so annoying." I say. "Im a new man. I'm not about that life anymore." "Sure." I scoff.

We pass snacks around as Spencer was giving us very detailed facts on soccer and how women's soccer came to be.  "The game was known as Tsu Chu back then, which translates to "kicking the ball." It was a military training exercise in which players had to kick a ball through a net openin-" "Reid. Watch the game." Elle says.

"JJ would've listened to me." Reid says. "Aw. Reid I'm listening." "No it's fine don't want to bore anyone." He says as he launches a bottle cap at Elle's forehead and we all start laughing.

JJ finally gets put in and we all start cheering. Neither teams have scored yet so hopefully that'll change.

She goes to shoot the ball into the net multiple different times but everytime it gets blocked by the goalie. I can tell she's getting frustrated. The coach calls a time after JJ missed a pass and sighs as she walks over to the coach. Did not look like the coach said anything nice.

"What's going on JJ has never messed up this much." Derek says. "I don't know, but she better get it together  or her coach is going to be so hard on her for the rest of the season." Hotch says.

JJ gets passed the ball once more and an opposing team member completely takes the ball from her and shoots it into net. Making Monmouth in the lead.

JJ puts her arms to her head sighing in defeat and one of her team mates ran over to her. Seemed like a quick  pep talk.

It starts up again, eventually she gets the ball and someone from the other team quite literally slammed into her. JJ fell backwards right onto her head and the refs gave the other team a penalty.

The coach does do see if JJ was okay but she got up, she seemed very pissed off. And so unbelievably hot. Like I cannot peel my eyes away from her right now.

All I really want is for her to be mine now. Derek was right I do like her. I can't fight the feeling I get anymore when I'm around her.

JJ got taken out of the game. I don't know if it's for the whole game or just for a little bit but she was sitting on the bench drinking her water bottle and proceeded to sit with her head between her knees.

Her coach went over to talk to her and I don't think JJ gave her a nice response by the way the coach walked off afterwards.

It was getting towards the end of the game and the other team was winning by a lot. JJ ended up back in the game and scored 2 goals. We cheered for her a lot but they still ended up losing. "They should've never taken jareau out. They would've won if she was in the whole time." Some randoms say as they leave the bleachers. "Yeah but Jareau was slacking the first half." Someone else adds.

Like I won't punch that guy in the throat. We wait for JJ to finish talking with her team and we go to congratulate her. "2 goals that's awesome!" Spence says. "Thanks Spence." She fake smiles.

"Thank you guys for coming really I appreciate it but I just want to be in my bed right now. I'm just not happy with how I played." She frowns. "But you did so good at the end." "Yeah it wasn't enough." She says and walks off.

~

I got back to my dorm about an hour after JJ got back because I wanted to give her time to be by herself.

I open the door to see her watching tv in her bed with her face buried into a stuffed animal. She's so adorable. "You okay?" I ask. "No." She says. "At least it wasn't a big game." I say. "Yeah I guess." She mumbles.

"I think you did amazing. Really." I say. "Thanks em."

"Hey... the sun is setting. Do you wanna go watch it somewhere? Get your mind off of things?" I ask. "Sure." She replies.

She throws on an oversized hoodie some shorts and so do I and we walk towards my car. I put on some music as she looked out the window and we drove towards an empty field that had a great view of the sunset.

"Wanna get out?" I ask. "Yeah." She smiles. "There's that smile." I say and she looks at me all happy. "You're so cute." I let out and IMMEDIATELY want to punch myself in the face. "You're cuter." She says.

We get out the car and lay down in the empty field. Just watching the colors in the sky in silence. "This was a good idea." She says. "Right?" I say.

"My coach told me today that I was useless the first half of the game and took up space." She says. "You could never be useless. You're the only reason that team has a title." "Again. Whatever I give just isn't enough. They always want more from me. And I don't have much more to give."

"You are doing your best every single day and that's the only thing that matters. You, Jennifer jareau are enough and don't ever let someone make you feel anything less then. Your coach is projecting her shit onto you and that's not your fault. You are enough." "You don't actually mean that you're just saying it, I did bad today I even heard people talking bad about me."

"I wish you could see yourself the way I view you." I say. "What do you mean?" She looks over at me. "I mean I think... not even I think. I know you are a talented, kind-hearted, hard working and passionate individual and any person would be lucky to have to chance at knowing you."

"You're so sweet." She starts to tear up. "I need to get out of my head." She adds.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" I ask. "Too much. But talking to you makes everything so much better." She says and my heart melts. "Really?" I ask. "Mhm."

I inch closer to her until our bodies are almost touching and she glances at the sky and looks back at me. "I think you're so pretty Em." She says. "You're... absolutely breathtaking JJ." I rest on my forearm and being the other arm to her waist. Being so absolutely nervous and mf heart is beating 92822 per minute.

"Emily." She whispers. "Shh." I say as I softly lean in and press my lips against hers. She's quick to kiss me back and now I know what's been missing all of my life. I glide my tongue through begging for access and her mouth opens up letting me find hers and fight for dominance.

The kiss got deep. We sit up, not daring to break this kiss and her arms fall around my neck pulling me closer to her.

"Jayje." I say as our lips seperate. "I know." She says.

"Can we continue whatever this is... please." I ask. "Absolutely." She smiles as we return to the kiss.