THE GREAT WAR ; MILEVEN TEXTING AU

PROLOGUE.

el sat on the chair in front of her vanity, staring hopeless at her reflection in her mirror.

11pm.

give me a reason to not do this.

she blinked a tear away when she stared at the cutter set on her desk.

it was as if it was calling out to her.

give me a reason... give me a reason....

everything felt so aligned.

she hit rock bottom. her father had to work late tonight.

the one night he couldn't help but work late, she felt the worse she's ever been.

give me a reason... save me.

her phone pinged next to her and her gaze adverted to catch the test on her lock screen.

dad: Hey Kiddo, ice cream desert?

her breath hitched and she sucked in a sharp breath as more tears fell.

save me.... somebody.

she picked up her phone, ignoring her fathers text as she went to safari, seeing the site she last visited pop up.

local suicide hotline.

was this a sign?

she's called it before. she may even know the number by heart.

with a groan, she shut her phone and threw it hard down on her wooden desk.

what should she do?

i want to breathe...

after a few seconds of silence, she picked up her phone again and her hurried fingers entered the phone number she remembered.

she put it on speaker, setting it down as she rubbed her thighs aggressively.

"hello?"

she inhaled a sharp breath. "hi..."

there was a pause when el didn't continue. "uh... hello? um, who's this?"

el furrowed her eyebrows. "i... i thought this was..." she leaned forward and checked the number, her eyes widening realising the last digit was wrong.

"i'm so sorry, i have the wrong number. i thought this was... the hotline," she cursed herself on the inside as more tears fell.

but she congratulated herself for not letting her voice shake. she sounded so normal.

"the hotline?" the low, quiet voice repeated.

he sounded... tired.

"yeah... the, um—"

"suicide hotline?"

she nodded but realised he couldn't see her. "yes. im sorry i disturbed you, i know it's late... i'll... i'll let you go, i'm so sorry—"

"don't go,"

"what?"

"don't go. talk to me,"

"no, im okay. thanks, i'll—"

"if i let you go, you'll kill yourself. i doubt you'll hang up and call the right number,"

that was exactly what she was going to do. because it seemed as if it was faith.

that she couldn't be saved.

"why do you care? you're a stranger... don't worry, my death won't be on your hands," el reached her hand out to press the red button but her hands stopped over it when he spoke again.

"it will. i don't want you to die,"

"why do you care? you don't know how hard it is to live,"

"but the thing is. i do know. nobody sees. nobody knows. i lay in bed wishing i wasn't here. i wish that everything could end. i do know how you feel,"

"then how do you continue? how do you wake up wanting to continue?"

"i tell myself there's something to live for. i just haven't found it yet,"

a tear slipped from the corner of her eyes and she stayed silent.

"don't go. let me show you there's something worth living for,"

"even you haven't found it yet,"

"perhaps not yet. but i know it's out there... you'll find yours too. it may hurt now but it's a fight."

a sigh escaped her. "i don't want to fight. i fought enough," she looked down and rubbed her eyes. "thank you for talking with me..."

"are you going to hurt yourself?"

"no,"

"i'll confirm that tomorrow,"

"what do you mean?"

"i'll text this same number. i'll call if you don't answer."

gently, she slid the cutter away to the back of her desk before she whispered. "thank you. i... i needed this,"

"what's your name?"

she waited a beat before saying. "el,"

"goodnight, el. i'm mike,"

"goodnight mike. you'll find your purpose soon," she said before she hung up quickly, staring at the home screen before she pulled her notification centre down to answer her father's text.

el: sure

standing, she ran a hand through her messy, unwashed hair, before she dropped to lay on the bed, curling as a chill ran through her body.

had she found her purpose?

*.✧.*

a/n: thank you for reading, i hope you're all excited for this as much as i am!