Love's Creation (IzukuxMomo)

25: Silt of the Past

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"And when it comes to sleep? How have you been faring?"

"Good, great even." Midoriya answered with a smile, face up to the ceiling of the room as he laid over the therapist's couch. A metronome clicked at a steady and slow pace, the scent of smooth caramel wafting the air as it burned from a candle. "I don't wake up in the middle of night with cold sweats, I don't get any nightmares, I can actually get some real sleep for the first time in a long time. But, I have a really weird feeling none of that is a good thing."

"And why is that?" The therapist asked, left leg crossed over the other with pen dangling from right hand. "You seem livelier now compared to your first appointments, you don't seem droopy or on edge like you did before. What makes you infer that isn't good?"

"Well, if I'm not having the nightmares anymore, where did they go? They couldn't just, up and disappear just because I've been spending more time with Momo, could they? Seems a bit too good to be a real thing."

"The mind works in ways that to this day we still don't understand, even the simplest things can result in the most complicated of matters to be resolved easily. You say for the past days you've been spending majority of your time around Ms. Yaoyorozu, correct?"

"Yeah, that's right." Midoriya confirmed. "I've been spending the nights at her home, eating with her, cuddling with her, sleeping with her, pretty much spending majority of my day with her doing anything really. Well, anything that isn't hero-related that is."

"ISN'T, hero-related?" The therapist asked. "And by that do you mean she attempts to restrict your exposure around anything that would recall you to your career as a hero?"

"Yeah, over the days she's been kinda limited with the topic of what she's been doing as a hero. She also tries to restrict me from helping out other people, like with her maids. Sometimes I see her house maids doing stuff around the mansion and I offer to help a little bit but Momo kinda scolds me for it. Says I need to stop trying to help so much and focus on my luxury instead."

"Hmm, I see. That's acute of her, really. Limiting your exposure to the idea of helping others so that you may instead focus on your health and time passing is a smart play by her. And quite frankly, a play I can agree on. I believe this whole mess of your issues doesn't come from the mistakes itself rather, the way you think about yourself and the habitual need of clinging to what you think you are rather than what you really are. Mistakes are made by everybody, there is no form on this planet that can truly deny anybody from ever making a mistake. Whether it be small or large, they are all around us.

Living with what you've done is one thing but to accept what you've done and move beyond it, is another. Your decisions leading to the unfortunate taking of lives is something that cannot be erased from history Midoriya, as much as I or anyone else would like to do so. Acceptance of any mistake of ours is always a difficult decision but until you decide to make that decision, you will always find yourself to be in this constant state of turmoil. Every day a human grows beyond what they were just minutes before, so how will you have grown several years down the line? Or, even better, months."

"Huhhhhh, I dunno. I just feel like there's gotta be some form of....repayment, you know? Like, is there anything I could do to just make things better?"

"Questions and hopes are plenty present, but a true answer seldom is. Unfortunately the question you present to yourself, may not have an answer. That is just how the world revolves around itself. Tell me, what do you see yourself doing two years down the line? Can you think of anything?"

Midoriya shook his head. "Nothing, really. I mean, nothing as in I can't really think of anything I could see myself doing without being a hero. But then again I guess this is exactly what Momo's trying to make me figure out in the first place hmph. Man, she's so cool."