It's complicated

Chapter 1: First day

Lexi get up Cole shouts at me ripping the duvet off me I told u half an hour ago to get ur arse out of this bed.

Uhhh Cole piss I reach for the duvet wanting to feel the warmth and comfort it was giving me.

No Lexi get ur arse out of bed u lazy git. You're  going to be late for your first day if u don't get up I'll drag u out myself he says with a serious tone.

Ffs I'm up will u piss off now so I can get changed
Jesus Christ.

Ok thanks I'll go make you some breakfast whilst u get ready he says whist walking to the door love you lex he says before walking out.

Love u to cole now go so I can get changed I say throwing a jumper at his face.

Cole's been my best friend since high school he's been with me through the bad and good he's held me whist I cried helped me when things was bad at home. I owe him everything it's safe to say I wouldn't be here today without him and I'm grateful for that he's the only one who knows about my family and what it was like growing up how abusive my dad was to me and my brothers Jamie and ben. Jamie left when I was 13 he had it bad with my dad and one night he just left I haven't heard from him since it's been 10 years. I miss him so much but if he wanted anything to do with me he would have reached out which he never did so I guess he doesn't. Me and Ben speak every now and again he's still in contact with are dad so I only really speak to him on the phone he lives in Spain with his girlfriend Sarah.

I quickly get changed into my arsenal training kit it feels weird having a new badge on my chest. I previously played for Man city I'm going to miss it but I had to get away I had to keep the team safe me being there was putting everyone in danger. I started to get letters sent to my house saying that if I don't come home then he will hurt them I couldn't risk it I don't know what I would have done if any of them got hurt because of me. I know who sent the letters it was my dad he was angry when I left but I couldn't stay I had to get away. I'm hoping it will be different at arsenal but deep down I know that won't be the case he won't let me be happy he always used to say I don't deserve it and I used to believe him but Cole always told me I deserve to be happy and live a good life.

Before I head down stairs I open my bed side draw and pull out a flask and take a few swigs from it it's the only way I will be able to stay calm and get myself through the day.I know it's bad and I shouldn't be doing it but it helps.

I walk down the stairs feeling a lot more calmer now that I've had a drink I head into the kitchen to see Cole has made me some toast and eggs.

Thanks Cole I say whist taking a bite of the food

He smiles at me when I take a bite he knows I used to struggle with an eating disorder so it
Makes him happy when he sees me eating.

Once I've finished eating me and cole head to the car to start the journey to arsenal training ground it's not a long journey only about 15 minutes which I'm glad about I absolutely hate long car journeys I get bored after about 5 minutes.

Are you excited for your first day cole says to me with a comforting smile on his face.

Ye should be good it's a good club and the facilities seemed nice when I was there for the tour Jonas is nice as well.

That's good make sure u talk to people tho and not just sit with your air pods in listening to drake
24/7

Hey don't come at me for liking drake he's got good music u dick I say playfully hitting his arm.

Ye whatever you say oh and make sure u don't sing u sound like a dieing donkey when u sing it's funny but wouldn't want to embarrass yourself on your first day would you.