It's complicated

Chapter 30: mad

We have been in Italy for a couple of days now it's beautiful it's nothing like England everyone's friendly and are actually willing to give us directions and help out when they can. The streets are well decorated with lights trialing down every alley way making it look even more beautiful not to mention the fact that the food is insanely good over here. We spent the first day relaxing outside by the pool  since we had to catch the flight early and we was all tired and didn't really fancy going out exploring. We went out to the beach yesterday and had dinner in a really nice restaurant it was amazing.

I've always loved Italy ever since i was a little kid. I remember i used to keep a post card under my pillow there was a huge picture of Italy plastered on the front with big bold writing that spelled out Italy out. I remember seeing it in a little shop me Jamie and Ben used to visit every Thursday on the way back from school. I would look at all the different post cards whilst Ben and Jamie wondered off to go shove pick and mix into their pockets.

"You ok" Leah says snapping me out of my thought with a worried look on her face. I must have been in my own head for a while because she was asleep last time i checked.

"Ye I'm ok, when did you wake up?" I ask Whilst putting a strand of hair behind her ear that had fallen loose. "About 10 minutes ago, what was you thinking about?" she asks.

I sigh and turn to face her "just something that me and my brothers used to do when we was little" I say with a smile recalling all the times we used to go there. I don't miss anything from my childhood but i definitely miss spending time with my brothers how we used to run round that shop playing tag like we was normal kids even if it was just for 10 minutes one day a week.

I didn't go out as a kid i wasn't aloud i couldn't leave the house only to go to school and football that was the only time i could leave. Well me and Jamie couldn't go out Ben was aloud but me and Jamie had to stay in are rooms all day every day waiting to see who are dad is gonna take his shit out on today. Going to the shop after school was special really special it was the only time i could be free and be a kid for a bit.

"What did u guys used to do?"she asks intrigued. I tell her how we would run straight to the shops after school and quickly run home after so are dad wouldn't notice we was gone longer than usual.

"Do you miss him" she asks hesitantly knowing this is a subject i don't talk about with anyone not even cole. I can feel my eyes start to well up and a tear slips but i instantly wipe it away.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to upset you" she says wiping my tears away and pulling me into her chest. "No you didn't I'm sorry i wish i could talk about him but i just can't not right now" I say honestly.

"Never apologise for needing time to talk lex, it's ok and I'll be here whenever you're ready" she says whilst placing a kiss on my forehead. "It's still early you should go back to sleep" she says changing are positions so im now lying on her chest.

I was woken by the bedroom door swinging open and Jacob making his presence well known as always. "Aw don't you two look cute disgusting" he says plonking himself on the other side of the bed.

"Firstly why are u in are bed secondly why are u in are room and thirdly now listen to this one very carefully you won't wanna miss it" Leah says with a smirk on her face i know exactly what's about to happen so i just hide my face in the pillow to hide the smirk that's plastered on my face ive been a victim of this to many times to count.

"What is it" Jacob asks with a big smile on his face he obviously thinks it's something good bless him. "Well you have to come here so i can whisper it to you it's a secret" she says i let a little laugh out knowing that Jacob is not going to be all happy and excited in a few seconds.