It's complicated

Chapter 15: im sorry

I haven't slept a wink I've been up all night crying I feel like shit and the worst thing is that I have training and I know for a fact Cole it's not going to let me miss it I've already had 2 weeks off with an injury and if I have anymore more time off then I won't get play on Sunday. I just want the world to swallow me up and to top it all off I have to face Leah how am I meant to do that every time I think about her I break down fuck knows what will happen when I look at her I just need to make sure I avoid her today. I hate myself so fucking much for letting her in and trusting her how stupid can I be. I was pulled out of my thoughts by Cole coming in the room and jumping on the bed next to me.

Come on Lex up you get football time yayyy Cole says doing jazz hands I just got the ick that was vile behaviour fucking jazz hands.

Firstly never and I mean never is jazz hands again and secondly please don't make me go there Cole I say hiding under the covers.

Come on Lex do you want to play the game on Saturday he says pulling the covers off of my face so he can see me.

I sigh yes of course I want to play I say.

Well get up then Lex I'll give you 10 minutes to get changed and if you're not ready by the time I come back then we are gonna have a problem Cole says seriously.

I get myself out of bed making sure I'm huffing and puffing just so Cole knows I'm not happy about this situation.

Stop huffing and puffing Lex you're not a fucking  steam train Cole says leaving the room to let me get changed.

I laugh at his stupid comment fuck knows what I would do if I didn't have Cole he's my partner in crime my soulmate i just don't quit get why he has stuck by my side all these years he could have went out exploring the world enjoying himself but instead he chose to pick me up off the floor when I'm passed out drunk and Pick me up from random pubs every night and hold me whilst I cried all day every day. I do sometimes feel like I'm holding him back with all of my problems I just want him to happy because he deserves it that man deserves the world and I guess I just feel like he's not living life how he should be constantly having to deal with me flying of the radar not knowing if I'll fall back into the dark place I used to be in.

I get ready making sure I take as long as possible I can't be bothered to do my hair so I just put it up in a bun I feel like shit and i know i look it to but oh well it what it is. I make my way downstairs Cole's stood there with a coffee in his hand fucking life saver I say grabbing it out of his hands chugging half of it instantly.

Alright slow your roll there Lex it's not going to run away from you Cole says laughing.

Don't stop it with the jokes Cole I'm tired I haven't slept i feel like shit and I look like shit I'm really not in the mood for the jokes but thanks for the coffee mate I say ruffling his hair he fucking hates when I do that.

Oi hands off the hair mate took me an hour to get it to look this good this morning so if you mess it up then I will have to disown you as a friend Cole says.

Ouch mate way to kick a girl when she's down I say putting my hand to my heart with a hurt expression on my face.

Right come on in the car we are going to be late Cole says going to grab the keys off the side but I snatch them first.

I'm driving I say running out to the car and getting into the drivers seat before Cole could stop me.

Cole runs after me and opens the driver seat door.
Lexi get out I refuse to be in a car if you are driving you will kill us both Cole says in a serious tone.

Aww please let me drive I really want to drive come on I'll go slow I promise I'll get us there safely I swear I say giving him puppy dog eyes.

Lexi if I die today then it's all your fault Cole says getting into the back seat he grabs all three seat belts and wraps them around him and holds onto the chairs to stop him from flying if we crash.