It's complicated

Chapter 14: drinking/ arguing

I'm going back to training today my ribs and nose are healed and I have no pain I can't wait to go back I've missed it so much this has been the longest 2 weeks of my life. I have to go to my house with Leah to get all my training stuff and my bag as I've been staying at Leah's for the past 2 weeks she's been a lot of help and I'm thankful she was there for me. I haven't actually been back to my house since that night Leah parked her car up outside my house I don't even think I can go in I just sit there and stare at the house.

I'm fine I have been fine I've accepted that he's always going to be there and I was fine after he came to my house I really was but I don't know just being near the house knowing what happened in there it's scaring the shit out of me.

Are u ok Lex Leah says placing her hand on my thigh and giving me a concerned look.

Hmm ye why wouldn't I be I say still not taking my eyes away from the house.

Well you have been sat here just staring at the house do you want me to come in with you Leah says.

Yes please I say.

We both get out the car Leah holds my hand I just hold onto it tighter as we get closer to the door. I take a deep breath as I walk in I don't look in the direction of the kitchen as I know my blood will be on the floor still and there is most likely a hole in the wall from when he pushed me up against it. I quickly make my way up the stairs wanting nothing more than to get out of this place. I grab all my training stuff and my bag and I run back down the stairs and go straight out the door I let out a breath I didn't know I've been holding.

Lex are you sure you're ok Leah says she looks worried.

Ye I am just wanted to get out there I got flashbacks I say holding back tears.

Lex it's ok he's not going to come back I won't let him hurt you anymore Leah says embracing me in a hug.

Ye I know I say. but she doesn't know him like I do that man will always come back always.

Come on let's get out of here Leah says intertwining are hands and walking back to the car. We make it to training and I can't wait to get back on the pitch kicking a ball about having a laugh with everyone and I think I need a distraction because I've been craving alcohol today and I promised Leah I would stop drinking and I have done but I really need a fucking drink going back to my house has made it worse it's just made me think about my dad and I have no clue what to do i still have the flask in my training bag I always used to keep a back up just in case and knowing it's there is going to make this hell.

Me and Leah make are way into the changing rooms all the girls are in there already doing there own things some are singing there hearts out others just sat on there phone but then Beth see's me and shouts then suddenly all eyes are on me.

LEXI YOUR BACK Beth screams running up and jumping on me taking me to the floor.

Fucking hell Beth are u trying to injure me before I've even come back I say laughing and patting her on the back.

PILE ON Katie shout

No no no no don't stop I shout but that's no use every person in the changing room piled on me whilst Leah just stood there laughing.

Glad you found that funny I say standing back up and wiping my clothes down.

Ye I did find it funny to be fair Leah says laughing.

Oh well in that case I'm going to find this funny hey guys I say getting everyone's attention.

Ye everyone says at the same time.

20 quid to the first person who can take Leah down I pull my phone out to record this.

No no no stop Leah shouts