"I don't have the slightest damn idea what will happen from now on.... What I can be sure of is that I will always be by your side when you need me. You can always count on me as a friend. I promise you that." - Shawn.
Recovered from the time capsul...
The suit stings my skin, and I had to throw my costume hat off my head because the Miami heat is driving me crazy. Camila laughs at me, trying to stay still so her sister can finish gluing the rhinestones on her face along with the rest of the makeup, which is supposed to be a scary skull but I don't see it that way at all.
- You look beautiful, my Catrina. - I whisper in her ear, making her laugh louder and causing Sofi to punch me in the arm.
- Don't interrupt me, Shawn!
- Sorry. - I back up, sitting on a stool in the kitchen, where Sinu is still preparing her feast since she got out of bed.
I amuse myself making crafts, which I am terrible at despite Sofi teaching me a lot, and fill a whole bag of papel picado that we are going to hang in the yard for the little family celebration for Día de Muertos, although so far it looks more like a mix between Mexican and American, with all the Halloween decorations invading the house.
Alejandro finishes setting up the Altar in the living room, placing more photos of our loved ones who have left to take care of us from above, candles that we will light later, the respective ofrendas and many colorful flowers surrounding it all.
- What do you think, Shawn?
- It looks great. - He gives me a satisfied smile at my response and claps his hands in excitement before disappearing down the hallway to continue his chores.
- She's ready! - Sofi takes a picture of Camila, who's blowing off her face to wipe off the glue. - Shawn, now you.
- Do I have to?
The girl's gesture doesn't let me refuse, so I remain at her complete disposal, allowing her to create her great work of art on my face with her paint kit.
- It feels very strange.
- Tell me about it. I don't know why I let myself get talked into it. - My girlfriend complains, looking at herself from every angle on her phone screen.
- You're both going to look great, stop complaining, for God's sake! - Sofi is murdering us with her eyes and I bite my lip to keep from laughing in front of her, but Camila does the opposite. - Keep it up, Kaki. I won't do you any kind of favor again.
- Yeah, yeah, whatever you say, sis.
The two get into a long, immature argument, the kind I usually have with my own sister, and it's Sinu who has to come and stop them.
- Behave decently. You're going to drive poor Shawn out of here. - They both laugh as they listen to their mother and somehow I end up in the middle of the three of them in a group hug.
I can't help but think once again that it would break my heart to say goodbye if our situation doesn't improve soon.
Camila... She's been under too much stress, even if it doesn't show so clearly on the surface. However, because I know her so well, she doesn't fool me that easily, and her mother even less so. Now that she has stopped working steadily and wants to spend more time at home, relaxing, with her family... with me, I am again feeling guilty about having to go away to sort out my affairs. I have a Tour next year, I have to help with the planning, I have to rehearse... I have a ton of stuff to do, and that means that sometimes I have to go and meet with my team, but... as everything has been lately, it's a problem for her. Which ends up being a problem for me, because of this... intense obsession she has with me, to the point of wanting to control my decisions. That part I'm not liking anymore.
I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt, to try if this changes, following my friend's advice and not sending everything to hell at once, because I know very well that I might regret it if I do... And I really don't want to do that.
I hold myself back from saying the words, because I hate the thought of losing her.
Come on, Shawn... This day was supposed to be happy. Don't celebrate the possible death of your relationship from here on out...
The three gorgeous ladies of the family let go of me and go back to their business. Sinu goes to take the pan de muerto out of the oven while Sofi finishes my makeup, with Camila teasing her once again, laughing at her behind her back.
Next, I'm dragged out into the yard by the pair of sisters to decorate what's left to cover until the house looks perfect to welcome our few guests who soon arrive, bringing with them more food, wine and plenty of sweets.
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After having "danced" for quite a while with my girlfriend, I can finally sit down in the living room, just to watch what the others are doing while laughing when Sofi starts singing at the top of her voice through the microphone of the karaoke system, at the same time as I cut up a piece of cake that has been lying around since my father-in-law's birthday.
- *"Recuérdame, hoy me tengo que ir mi amor, recuérdame. No llores por favor, te llevo en mi corazón... y cerca me tendrás..." - She sings along with Camila, who outdoes her by far, causing the girl to push her out of the way so she doesn't steal her show.
- You did great. - I murmur in her ear as she comes to sit on my lap.
- I know. - She snorts, rolling her eyes and jumps up to join in again on the final notes, despite Sofi's complaints.
From the entire Coco soundtrack, to older Disney songs like those from High School Musical, to Selena's cumbias and so on.... They really know how to make it all feel like one big party, even though it's just us, their parents, grandparents and three of their uncles with their wives and kids.
They make an elegant bow at the end of their first round and stop for a short break, Sofi to eat and Camila runs to me, kissing my face without caring if she ruins our make-up.
- Sofi is gonna kill you.
- Let her do what she wants. - She shrugs, giggling in my ear, and rests her forehead on mine for a few minutes of complete peace.
- Are you all right, beautiful? - I ask her when I see her still in my arms.
- Yeah, I'm just enjoying this moment with you. - She whispers, searching my eyes with hers that would read my soul.
Please don't let her find out what I've been thinking lately because I still don't know what the hell I'm going to do... But I also wonder what's going on in her head, really. Sometimes it's so indecipherable the way she acts... Like that day, asking me about my past relationship as if that would do us any good when we're doing so great... Well, everything except the last thing.
- Okay, come on, there's a costume parade outside! - She shouts out of nowhere, taking the empty plate from my hand so I can run with her to the porch.
Her family joins us too, waving to passing children who sing for candy; the shyer ones just smile or try not to cry when their parents push them in our direction, while Camila spreads love from a safe distance and celebrates every time she dunks a piece of candy into the larger baskets.
Seeing her childlike smile on her face is one of the things that matters most to me in life, but it's been a long time since she's smiled on a daily basis, and that thought makes me sick.
It's our third Halloween together, if we forget that we spent the first one apart... Will the next one be like that too?
