western nights ( shane walsh )

1.12 ; recollection

                                                          There was an unsettling sense of unreality enveloping her as if none of it could be trusted. The palpable feeling of solitude seemed to materialize around her, despite Rick's return. Even with him physically present, an intangible weight hung in the air.

The flickering flames cast a sombre glow, illuminating the scene as Lori found solace leaning on her husband's sturdy frame, cherishing each moment of his return. Carl nestled on Rick's lap, adding to the semblance of familial comfort. Yet, Natalie remained distant, seated beside Rick, her gaze fixated on the dancing flames.

Her thoughts swirled, grappling with the revelation that Shane, once trusted, had deceived her. The shattered remnants of her once steadfast beliefs lay scattered within her, leaving behind a profound sense of disillusionment and a lingering bitterness that seemed to pervade every corner of her being. It was a betrayal that cut deep, slicing through the fabric of trust and leaving her adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

Despite the profound hurt and anger swirling within her, Natalie found herself unable to direct those emotions towards Shane. It was as if a veil of confusion had descended upon her, clouding her ability to discern the true source of her feelings. Was it because she had mistaken Shane's attention for something more, a semblance of affection that she had craved in the desolate landscape of their world? Or was it something else entirely, buried beneath layers of denial and self-deception?

As she grappled with the conflicting emotions churning within her, Natalie found herself caught in a web of introspection and self-doubt. Every memory, every interaction with Shane was now tainted by the spectre of betrayal, casting a shadow over the fragile foundation of trust she had once placed in him. And yet, despite it all, she remained unable to muster the anger and resentment that she knew she should feel.

In the depths of her confusion, Natalie found herself questioning not only Shane's actions but also her perceptions and judgments. Had she been blind to the truth all along, willingly accepting the facade that Shane had presented? Or had she simply been too afraid to acknowledge the warning signs, desperate for a sense of connection and belonging in a world that seemed determined to tear them apart?

As she grappled with these questions, Natalie realized that the true source of her turmoil lay not in Shane's betrayal, but in her struggle to reconcile the shattered fragments of her beliefs with the harsh realities of their world. It was a journey of self-discovery fraught with uncertainty and pain, yet it was a journey that she knew she must undertake if she ever hoped to find peace within herself.

"How'd you feel getting out?" Cassie had inquired thinking with a furrowed eyebrow trying to still understand everything.

Snapping her head up and now paying attention to the conversation that was going on. "Disorienting." Rick's voice came out with nothing but comfort laced through his tone. "I guess that comes closest. Disoriented." Everyone who was around the camp listened to everything that Rick was saying. "Fear, Confusion-- all those things but..."

Thunder winded up being heard overhead. "Disoriented comes closest." 

"Words can be meagre things." Dale put forward; with Rick nodding understanding what he was saying. "Sometimes they fall short." 

Feeling eyes on her; she turned a bit meeting Shane's knowing that she was avoiding him since Rick had come back from him. "I felt like I'd been ripped out of my life." He looked into the fire. "For a while, I thought I was trapped. Something wouldn't let me wake up ever." 

"Mom said you died." Carl's small voice echoed throughout the camp, turning and looking up at his dad.

Correcting her brother with the tone under her breath. "Shane said you died...." Rick turned to Natalie. Who was mixed about everything that was happening for the past couple of hours? Shane's eyes lifted to hers; "Sorry." Rick turned and looked between Lori and Shane nodding his head.