Please, Remember The Bench (BY: Book 3)

The Treasur She Has

Stef's POV

"Stef, I'm so sorry, I know how much that shelter meant to you." Tess says as we are currently at her house drinking some good red wine.

We have been meeting each other from time to time since that day at the store, and she has been like a life saver because she was supporting me and listening to me like a real friend would. And with Lena away, not paying any attention to me, I needed that more than ever.

My structure closed two days ago now, and I'm still so sadden about it. That was so important to me. Sure, I still have other thing going on, project to help people that needed, I do still have a job, but that shelter was my baby, and I didn't have enough funding to keep it open, unfortunately... and boy did I cry about it. I honestly still do if I'm honest for I take it as a personal failure, I really do.

"I feel so down, you have no idea. I really suck, I wasn't even capable to hold a project together, I've let so many people down..." I say, sipping on my second glass of wine for I was in a drinking mood lately.

"Stef, no, don't say that. You'll get back on your feet, come on. And you certainly don't suck. You're literally the most tenacious woman I know. You're passionate about everything you do, and I have absolutely no dough that you will come through this, open another shelter, or maybe even fight hard to open that one again. I'm sure you can, Stef because I remember when we were young, that never ever would Stef Cooper give up." She says with such faith in me that it brought tears into my eyes.

I which Lena had support me like Tess is doing right now... I needed her so badly that night. I never needed her more than that day and... she didn't show up. She dismissed my feelings completely, and I don't think I'll be able to forgive her that any time soon.

"Ah, you know sometimes life has a way to hit you in the face... I'm not Cooper anymore, I'm not that fearless girl I once was... I'm an Adams Foster and I... I feel so alone... and just discouraged..." I say still sipping on my wine so that I wouldn't break down in front of her.

"What are you saying here? You're not alone come on. You have your friends including me, you have your kids, and you have your wife, you're not alone Stef." she says as I can see why she's saying this for it's true that you could think that, but, the reality of it is something else.

"My friends can't be here at every second with me. My kids don't visit that much as you can see, they barely call, and I feel like I'm annoying them when I do. And... did you see any wife of mine around? It's been almost a month since you and I got in contact again, and how many time have you seen Lena...? Zero." I spill out for I have been biting my tongue not to badmouth Lena or express my feeling about her because I don't want to expose the issues in my marriage for the world to see. But I'm sick of it, I'm sick of feeling like I don't matter, of feeling so damn alone and having no one to talk to.

"Oh, I... I haven realized that... that it was like this. I mean I did notice that you don't seem... how to say this...." she hesitated but I know what she wants to say.

"I don't seem happy? I know... because I'm not. And Lena has no clue. I've never seen her act like this ever, this job got to her head, and I told her over and over what she's doing to me, and that our baby girl is not right, but she doesn't listen to me at all. She brushes me off every damn time and I... I honestly don't know how long I can keep going like this..." I says as Tess got closer to me on the couch as she sees my tears now sliding down my face no matter how hard I tried to hold them in.

"Aw, honey I'm sorry... I can see that it's very hard for you, I wish I could do something..." she says genuinely trying to understand, which Lena didn't try at all.

"You do already. You listen to me complaining about my life for literally hours, you're basically a saint at this point, I don't know how you pull up with me honestly." I say, trying to dry my tears and smile at least a little as Tess take my hand so gently into her, making me look into her tender eyes.