Please, Remember The Bench (BY: Book 3)

Paper Panties

Lena's POV

I still haven't found the courage to go see Stef yet... it kills me not to see her, but it will destroy me to go see her, only for her to leave me, and maybe ask for a divorce again. I don't want to hear it, I don't want to face it...

I still have to go to the hospital though. Kayama won't stop crying until she sees Stef, which I understand, and I have no choice. Mom can't drive anymore because her vision is not that great, and Sharon is with Stef at the hospital right now, so I have no other option. I have to take her myself.

I tried my best to reassure her, I told her that her mom was fine, I even told her that she remembers her and all, but nothing could stop her from crying besides Stef herself, so here I am at the hospital once again.

However, I'm not ready to see Stef, I'm not and I won't get in there. Besides, Kamaya needs some alone time with her mother, to make sure that she's okay and all so, it's better this way.

I walk in the hallway where Stef's room is and I'm so glad when I see Sharon getting out of it so that I don't have to open the door and see Stef's eyes... I love those eyes more than anything, but I can't see them... I can't see the disappointment in them... not again.

"Oh Lena. Finally, you're here. Stef has been asking for you all night. What is it honey?" Sharon says looking relieved to see me as I don't really know what to say.

"Nana? Did mommy ask for me too?" Kamaya asks so vulnerably... she doesn't call Stef mommy that often now, because "that is for babies" she would say. But when she's scared or sick or things like that, she can't help herself. She needs her mommy.

"Oh of course she asked for you, sweets. You know your mommy is crazy about you. Come, let's go see her, baby." Sharon says stroking Kamaya's cheeks softly before taking her hand.

As I let go of Kamaya's hands, my heart was breaking for I miss my wife terribly. I want to see her so bad... I really want too, but the fear is stronger.

"You're coming Lena?" Sharon says, turning around to look at me when she realizes that I wasn't following them.

"No I... I need to... I have to run some errands so I..." I lie, stuttering like crazy and feeling my eyes filled with tears, so Sharon let go of Kamaya's hand and come closer to me, so that my baby won't hear what she has to say to me.

"Lena, honey... Stef needs you. She really wants to see you. She's asking for you since tomorrow and she's losing patience." She says as I feel like my throat is struck and I can't get a single word out.

"Baby, what's wrong? I can tell that there's something going on." Sharon says so softly that it was now so very hard not to cry but I manage because that is not happening in front of Kamaya.

"I can't... I have to go. I'll come pick her up later." I say, before I get out of here, once again, as fast as I can, only to break down in the car and cry my eyes out because I miss my wife.

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Twenty minutes later, I am back home. I don't even have the time to step a foot in the house that my mother is already holding the door for me, looking at me in a weird kind of way.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask, quite confused.

"Come sit with me." she says, no, orders and I'm so taken aback that I just obey without asking any questions.

We sit at the table in the leaving room, face to face and after a little silence, my mother started to speak.

"Sharon called me. Why on earth haven't you see your wife yet?" she asks as I put my head down, my heart hurting like nothing else.