Please, Remember The Bench (BY: Book 3)

You Feel Like Her

Lena's POV

I went to take my shower when Stef was talking to Kamaya downstairs since I already told her good night. It became our routine that I go tell Kamaya good night and as it's Stef's turn, I go take my shower. They usually talk for a long time so when Stef comes back, I'm usually finish.

Knowing that, I often take advantage of this to make myself... I would say, feel good. Release the tension in my body because it's driving me crazy that I can't sleep next to my wife, that I can't make love to her or anything. It's frustrating, but I know we have to go through that process, she needs time and I respect that.

So I was there in the shower, touching myself, rubbing on my clit slowly only to increase the pace as I go. I was getting very, very close, so close that I couldn't help my moans. I was trying to keep them quiet, but I guess since Stef was downstairs, I could let myself go a little.

But when I was about to reach my climax, when I was almost there, I gasped when I saw Stef opening the curtain. The look on her face was indescribable. It was desire mixed with something else, and I knew something wasn't right, but... it's Stef...

When she started touching me, driving her strong hand, her soft fingers on my skin... I lost it... I wanted to feel her so bad, that I ignored my previous feelings and didn't stop her though I know that if I had, she would have stop immediately. But I just didn't want her to stop.

She made love to me... passionately... carefully and she hit each one of my spots... it was like nothing had changed, like she was herself again... the pleasure I felt for those minutes was so intense that it got my hopes up for a minute... only to be hurt, like I've never been hurt before, when she rejected me right after she made me orgasmed...

I felt almost... dirty. Like... like I was just a piece of meat that she had to have at the moment, but for whom she didn't have feelings for...

This feeling was awful. I hated it and it... it killed me... this time it went too far... it was hurting too much... I couldn't take it anymore... I really couldn't...

So once I screamed at her to get out of here, and that she did, I break down and cried and sobbed, completely heartbroken and devastated that this was happening to us...

Once I had no more tears to cry, I dried myself, put my towel around me, even though this time I didn't forget my pajama. I just wasn't going to put it on. Instead, I went into my room, put some clothes on, and packed my damn bags.

I grab my three bags, with all my clothes in, determinate to just get out of here, and find myself a hotel for the night and figure out the rest later.

But when I was about to reach the front door, Stef came in at the same time... seems like she just went for a walk or something.

"What... what are you doing?" She asks puzzled as she sees my bags.

"I'm going to a hotel... I can't keep going like this anymore... this... this was too much... this hurt too much, I can't... I can't take it anymore... I..." I explain, for I know Stef is not a bad person, she took care of my body in there, she was gentle...

"No! No, Lena, I... please! I know I made a mistake, I know, and I'm so, so deeply sorry, but... please don't go." She says, closing the door behind her and putting herself right in my way so that I can't reach it.

"This wasn't me asking you. This was me, telling you that I'm going... I can't live with you anymore." I say, as I try to get pass her, but she doesn't let me.

"No! Please, Lena, stay! I don't want you to go, please... stay with me, I'm your wife... please!" she cries out, tears streaming down her face, and I could tell this was hurting her, but I... I need to think about myself a little...

"I can't! You know, you... you look like her, you smell like her, and God do you feel like her... but you're not her, you're not my wife. My Stef... my Stef would never do this to me... she... you're not her, and it hurts too much..." I say, crying as well.

"No please! I AM her! It's me, I... Lena, in the shower... I... I don't know what happened, but I... I knew what I was... no I... my body... my body knew what it was doing... I don't remember making love to a woman, I've never made love to a woman before, but I... my fingers knew what to do, how to move, when to press, where to press and how... I... I don't remember you, but my body... my body does... it reacts to you all the time... my heart reacts to you, my... I... my whole body knows you... Your Stef is still in there, Lena. I can feel it, you have to believe me. Please..." she says all this crying, making me sob even more for... that mean she's not completely gone, but... now that she hurt me so bad... how do I... how do I deal with that?

"Stef..." I shock out, so damn lost now.

"Please... I'm asking... no I'm begging you... please, give me another chance... I... I need you, Lena... I'm so confused and lost and I... I'm a mess, but when I'm with you... I... I feel like everything is going to be okay, and I... I hate myself for doing this to you, for making you feel like you were just some women that I needed to fuck to see how it feels. I'm sorry that I made you feel that way, I didn't mean to, I... I don't know how to explain it, even to myself, but when I did this I... I felt like I wasn't even in my body... I don't know why... I just... I just want you to stay, and I don't even want to wait to start something with you anymore, I... I want to take you on dates, learn to know you better, I... please... Lena..." she says, her voice trembling as she was crying and the look on her face, she seems so... so distressed and vulnerable... and I... I just can't resist this urge I have to... to love her.

"Please..." she says one last time before I let go of the grip that I had on my bags all this time, making them drop on the floor.

"Oh thank you. I... Lena I promise I'll be good to you... I swear, whatever it takes... thank you." she says as she throws herself into my arms, and all I can do is catch her as she cries into my neck, and I can't help but cry with her... I'm so scared she would completely destroy me now that I agreed to stay...

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I was in the mood to post two chapters today lol. Enjoy :)