Please, Remember The Bench (BY: Book 3)

I Gotta Go...

Lena's POV

My leg was bouncing up and down nervously as I was desperately trying not to bawl my eyes out again until the doctor comes back.

"How is she?" I stand up right away, feeling like the anxiety might kill me.

"She's okay. She's awake. I had to shock her, but now she's perfectly fine. She's stable and... Lena... she remembers, she remembers everything." He says getting the air out of my lung for I'm now speechless.

I kind of lived my life, our life, as nothing happened, almost as if Stef remembered everything... I was wishing, just like her, that she would remember, but after a year, then two... I kind of accepted that she would never remember and even though it broke my heart because it was so painful for her, I always thought to myself that I could live with that.... and I think just thinking that is kind of selfish if I'm honest.

"How... how is that... I mean... Why now, what changed? Is that why she passed out?" I ask completely in a state of shock right now.

"We can't exactly be sure, but in my opinion, she remembered all at once, and twenty-five years being a lot, I think it was too much for her. She couldn't handle that much information all at once, I don't think anyone could. Her brain must have shut down completely to protect her from the emotional shock. Now the why... I honestly don't know. For some people everything come back all at once, sometimes randomly like it's the case here, for others the memories come back progressively... it's better progressively because it's not as violent... so... well she'll have to rest a lot, the next days are going to take a lot out of her, the time her brain can stabilize itself again." he explained as I was trying to understand the best I could.

"Okay so... what... what do I do? When is she coming out of here?" I ask for I can't really stand hospitals anymore, not after spending weeks feeling awful in here while Stef was stuck in a bed.

"Soon, but not tonight. I want to monitor her for a few days... her heart is a little concern for me, I rather watch it closely. Nothing to worry about, it's just by precaution. You just have to make her go slow when she'll get home, just for a little while. I know she can be a hard head... in the meantime, you can go see her, she asked for you, she remembers you, the kids, the accident, everything and she wanted me to tell you that she's a medical miracle and..." the doctor keeps talking as I zone out, my head spinning for... I didn't want her to remember her accident... if she does, she probably remember the terrible way I treated her right before that and I... I can't face the rejection again... I can't lose her again...

"I... thanks, but I... I gotta go..." I say before turning away from him.

"Lena? Lena?! She asked for you!" he shoot but I get out of here as fast as I can, not able to face Stef and my previous mistakes that I will never forgive myself for...

"Lena? Where are you going? How is she?" Sharon says, reaching the hospital's exit as I dump into her, and I can barely look into her eyes.

"She's... she's fine... you can go see her. I gotta go." I say, not letting her the time to say anything else as I can't get out of here fast enough.

Stef's POV

"Oh Stefanie. You gotta stop doing this. I'm way too old for that." My mother says as soon as she enters my room.

"Like I did it on purpose ma." I say, rolling my eyes for I was expecting to see Lena, and not my mother. Though I love her, but Lena should be here first.

"How are you feeling, baby? Hum?" she asks her face softening as she takes my hand. I know she got scared...I know that if this would happen to my own children, I would be all over the place.

"I'm fine ma, just tired and I... I remember, ma. I remember everything, finally..." I say my voice cracking for I'm realizing more and more how lucky I am.

"Oh baby, that's great. I'm not gonna say, I prayed for it, but almost." She says, joking, but I could tell she was feeling emotional as I squeeze her hand.

"I promise I'm okay, ma. I am. And I... I love you, you know? Thank you for being there for me since I came out, I'm very grateful for you, ma." I say for we don't say that often enough. We don't and now that I remember, I realize even more how helpful she has been over the years and she's just the best mom, even if she drives me crazy most of the time.

"I love you too, my love. So much, you have no idea..." she says as she comes closer to take me into her arms and hold me tight, and it felt very good. It makes me feel small, but it's comfortable, I still like it.

"Mom? Where is Lena?" I ask now, as she pulls away slowly, now not able to look into my eyes.

"What? What happened? Where is she?" I ask, feeling my heartbeat picking up.

"She... umm... she went back home. I... I honestly don't know why. She just said that she had to go." She says as I was now more confused than ever, for usually in this kind of situation, Lena is literally not able to get away from me, and she gives me a hard time for not being careful enough with my health.

"Oh... Okay... um... and Kamaya, what happened? Did she got her birthday party, or..?" I ask, now, trying to focus on something else right this minute because I have no idea what to think about Lena not coming in to see me.

"Oh, well we tried to get her to enjoy her day. But she heard the ambulance, and the paramedic getting into the house. We tried to get her in the back yard so that she doesn't see anything, but you know her. She's not dump, and she saw you get in the ambulance, unconscious... so she didn't want the party anymore, she was crying and all so... we had to cancel. We called everyone and got everything in order, don't worry." She says as I sigh more frustrated that anything because Kamaya was looking forward to this party, she was killing our ears about it, and I just fuck it up.

"Baby, don't be so sad. You'll throw her another party. The most important thing is that you're fine. Besides, I'm sure she will be happy that you remember." My mom says, but still, I was feeling very bad for my little girl.

"Where is she now?" I ask.

"She's home with Dana. We didn't know how you were, and though she begged us to let her come to the hospital, we didn't. We had to see how you were first."

"Okay, you did the right thing." I say, missing Lena more than anything in that moment.

"Ma, can you call Lena? Tell her I want to see her." I say as my mother looks at me with worries in her eyes again.

"Baby... she seemed pretty shaken up. I think she got scared. Maybe you should give her a little time to process. Seeing you on the floor like this... again. She was terrified, she became almost hysterical, she just... I just think you should let her breathe a little. She'll come see you soon, I'm sure. You know her, she hates letting you out of her sight when you're sick or things like that."

"I can go see her. I can go home, I feel fine." I say trying to get up.

"No Stef, you're not going anywhere." My mom says as I don't even listen to her. I need to see my wife, and I will see her. Something is wrong, and I need to fix it.

"Yes, I am!" I say, trying to put one of my feet on the floor to get up, but I soon find my head spinning once again.

"Stefanie Adams Foster, you get your damn ass back in that bed right now!" My mother says in a tone that I rarely hear anymore as she pushes me back on the bed and I can barely fight back, because my body is so damn weak.

"Lena is probably with Kamaya, she'll come see you later, and in the meantime, you are going to wait here, and patiently, you're too weak to do anything anyway. You can spend a few hours with your old mother, right?" she insists as I have to admit to myself that I can't do a damn thing right now, which is frustrating as hell, and on top of that I don't want to be left alone here so...

"Okay... I guess I can wait until she feels better..." I give in, but still feeling like something is not right...