Please, Remember The Bench (BY: Book 3)

How Could You?

Stef's POV

Why is everything so dark, I'm wondering. I can hear someone crying and talking to me, but I don't understand a damn thing and it's honestly drive me crazy because I can feel the desperate in their voice and I hate it. It makes me feel really bad and even more scared that I already am.

I can't move at all and it's like I don't even really feel my body. But I'm in it though, I can feel the weigh and it's so, so heavy that I can barely take it.

I can hear multiple voices talking, some of them are far, others are like whispering right into my ear and I don't know if I want it to stop or to keep going, because it's not that enjoyable, but at the same time the silence scares me, a lot.

It's not that it's a complete silence, because there is some constant beeping around me, but I guess the voices makes them sound a bit lower for whish I'm glad.

I don't really know what's going on, my brain is like mush right now, and it's very hard to think. I try and try to make sound get out of my mouth, but it's stuck.

What happened to me, and what is happening right now is a mystery but I'm so out of it that I can't even panic. I'm so tired and sleepy.

I don't know what time it is, what day, and I can barely remember my name. I keep hearing "Stef, Stef" and I think it's that, I think that's my name but I'm not sure.

Even though I can't entirely feel my body, sometimes, I feel a cold sensation on me, like cold water or something. Also, there are times where I feel heat on my hand, like... like something is on it.

It feels like I've been like this since forever and I so badly wants to get out of that state because I hate it so much, to be like this, no able to do or say anything. If hell is a place, it must be that, so maybe I'm dead or something...

I want to get out of here, I need to get the fuck up!

Lena's POV

"Doctor! Doctor! I need someone in here! Please help!" I yelled when I see Stef kind of choking or convulsing or something I have no idea, but I was so very scared, I was terrified and I was alone, thank God, for I don't want the kids to see that, but at the same time I hate being alone to face this, I want my wife back...

"We're here, ma'am. What's going on?" a nurse asks as him and a bunch of doctor rush into the room and there're suddenly all over Stef and my heart is speeding because I can't see a damn thing, so I try to get closer but one of the nurses is pushing me back.

"She was... she was fine and... and then she started to... to do this, I... what is happening to her?? What's going on?! You said she was going to be fine!" I say screaming and crying hysterically for if she's dying, I'm dying too. I can't live without that woman, I absolutely can't.

"Jamal, get her out of here, please." the lead doctor orders to a nurse and I thought I was going to kill him, but I couldn't... I feel so powerless, so useless...

I've spent days here, I haven't been home once, I didn't leave her side a single minute. I've hold her hand nonstop, except to wash her body with the nurses' help. All day I cry and pry to the Lord, to the universe and everyone and everything I could think of, to not take that woman away from me. I beg every day for her to just wake up and when each day ends, I'm devastated that she's still stuck in this freaking bed all day, I know she would hate that, I know it, yet I can't do a damn thing about it and I hate it.

I know she would probably want me to go home and be with Kamaya, be the mother that she deserves, but I couldn't. I couldn't look at her in the eyes, knowing that I'm the one who almost took another mother of hers away from her.