My Diary

14-2-2024

Dear diary,

I can't believe it! I shifted! It was only for a few seconds but I shifted! I couldn't be happier!

Okay so last night I tried two shifting guided meditation. My sister and I sleep in the same room as a sort of sleepover and I COULDN'T FOCUS ON THE MEDITATIONS BECAUSE SHE WAS MAKING AS MUCH SOUND AS A SEAGULL ON A WARM SUMMER DAY.

I decided to stop during a shifting method called: "Shift on accident. Trigger a shift." (Not exactly like that but you get the point.) 

I took off the headphones and I turned off my laptop and then I went back to sleep. I put the intention of shifting multiple times in my head and then I started thinking about my DR. I wanted to shift to Percy Jackson so I started thinking about them.

I started saying affirmations like this:

I am powerful to trigger a shift without even intending to

I will shift

I am 

I am 

And things like that idrk.

Now we get to the shifting part!!

I woke up this morning to my sister telling me to wake up. She was whispering-screaming: "M/n! M/n!" (M/n = my name)

She asked me what time it is. I told her the time. 9:18. I closed my eyes for a split second and first she was standing in my doorway, right? Now she was LAYING ON HER FUCKING MATRASS.

She swore that she wasn't standing and I am so confused because I swear it was real! I swear that she actually stood there! But maybe not her, but her. I'm confused.

As in it was her but in another universe.

Damn. 

So that was the shifting part! I am going to try again tonight! But this time I want to shift to Percy Jackson!

Now I am going to stop writing and I'll come back tonight!

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Okayyyy so I am back!!

I am writing this a little bit earlier than yesterday haha.

Anyways, I didn't do THAT much today. I went to a physiotherapist for my knees and now they hurt even more! I am pretty sure that that is because of the tape.

I really wanted to go and run a little bit around the park but that's when I realized I couldn't walk anymore.

And now my plan to lose weight is also backfiring.

BUT I did shift. That has to count for something, right?

Now I have to talk to y'all about something. Something has been stuck in my head for a while and I need it off of my chest. Because I can't seem to talk about it seriously with my friends.

So a few years ago, when I was 10, I think. Maybe 9. I was hanging with a few people at a playground. Two boys and one girl. A few minutes later, the girl had to leave. 

I was all alone with two boys that I apparently couldn't trust. Because the minute that that girl left, they started walking towards me, saying that they basically wanted to r#pe me. 

And now, you might think that I am pretty because they said they wanted to r#pe me but I looked like a rat's nest. I was VERY ugly. So I knew they were joking about it so I laughed with them. I shouldn't have done that. I only gave signals about that I liked it. But I was very scared.

I climbed onto one of the highest play thingys and everytime that they came close I kicked them down. 

After a few minutes I finally came down and I ran for my life. One of them tried to be funny and ran after me while laughing. After I ran a few 100 meters away, I went back. I am way too trustworthy and I thought that they actually were joking. 

But apparently they had other ideas. 

I came home and I sended the emoji of a middle finger towards one of them. It was the only one I had the number off. After sending him that I blocked him. 

Next day at school everyone is standing about the tables of those two boys and one of their friends walked towards me and said and I quote: "Why did you send b/n a middle finger?"

-b/n = boy's name-

In my thoughts I obviously thought. "What? Are you serious? Do you even know the fucking backstory?" What I said was different.

"Because I hate him."

The boy laughed and asked why I hate him but I couldn't answer since we started with the lesson.

 This is the reason why I hate most boys. They can't be serious about one fucking thing! 

I still hope that my friends don't find this book. And I still haven't got any reads. But that's okay! I am writing this for myself.

Now I need to go.

Goodnight and may the odds of shifting be ever in our favor

(I thought about Hunger Games while writing this)