My Diary

8-3-2024

Dear diary,

Today was nice! I was wearing a new outfit. Blue cargo pants and a black top. It was cute but I felt a little bit insecure about my belly. I felt fat.

But one of my friends called me pretty! And another friend said that I could be a model. That made me so happy!!

Also, one of my friends is writing a story on Wattpad called  "Je t'aime" Y'all should totally read it! After she finished that story I am going to write a follow up called  "Ti amo" IEEE

Also two days ago I said that I was going to tell the story about how I may or may not have a trauma, yesterday. I was gonna tell the story yesterday but I FUCKING FORGOT.

Now I am going to talk about how I might have a trauma because of a boy. (AGAIN! WHAT IS UP WITH THESE BOYS?!)

So let's call this boy Brandon. 

So Brandon has anger issues. Like... really bad anger issues. And one time in geography I wanted to turn on the lights but I wasn't allowed to. I did it anyway because my intrusive thoughts told me to.

Brandon walks up to me, all his friends watching. And I don't want to cry or be scared so I am standing there, looking him right in the eyes and HE HAS THE FUCKING GUTS TO PUNCH ME ON MY UPPER ARM. 

I heard one of his friends gasp. "Holy shit he did it." YES HE FUCKING DID! 

Now a week or two after that, we had P.E. And we were playing basketball. I had to defend him. SO I DID.

He thought I was attacking him in some sorta way. But I was just defending him. Nothing special! And he yells. "HEY!" Then he starts talking about how I 'Jumped on him.' The fuck?

The teacher says that it is allowed to DEFEND. Do you hear me? D-E-F-E-N-D.

The teacher whistles and the game starts again. I don't even have the ball but that bitch FLEW TOWARDS ME! "But she could do it!" I DON'T CARE BRANDON. I WILL FIND YOU AND KILL YOU!

Ever since I flinch every time someone even lifts a finger. One time, my friend was explaining something and then she lifts her hand and I didn't see that coming so I flinch and she looked at me and was like. "Did you think that I was going to hit you?" I quickly shook my head.

I didn't know what was wrong with me but now I do.

Forgetting is difficult. Remembering is worse.

So I try to forget about it but every day I see this motherfucker in school. One more reason to send him to his grave.

Anywayyy...

The other boys that I was talking about with trauma, are the ones that were joking about raping me.

OOP-

It is 00:02

I better upload before the time difference is too much.

I love you guys!! And I am glad that you listened to me story <33