My Diary

7-5-2024

Dear diary,

OMG OMG I AM SO SORRY THAT I AM LATE AGAIN!!!

Today was VERY interesting.

First I went to prick blood, but because of my low blood pressure, they couldn't find the vein and they stopped. After that I fainted and I could see the worried look in my dad his eyes.

The worst thing of all was that the whole waiting room was full with people. So everyone saw me faint and cry. 

When I fainted, I don't remember actually fainting, but while fainting it felt like my body was floating and going to different places. I don't know where though.

When I woke up, (2 seconds later), I saw four people standing around me. Literally

North
East
South
West

In front of me there was a lady holding my legs up, the same one who pricked me for blood, and she was holding my legs up so more blood will reach my brain.

East from me my father was seated. He looked so worried that I almost started crying.

South from me I saw a lady, she was holding my right elbow and left shoulder. 

She and the lady west from me were trying to keep me straight up.

So I woke up and I completely forgot where I was. So I was kind of scared for a while. Then after a few seconds I remembered again. I noticed that my father backed away, since I was first holding his hand. Now I was literally pinching the handrail so hard.

They helped me stand up and I had to lay on a sort of bed. And this was so embarrassing for me because the entire room was full with people. No kids, luckily. They took me to the other side of the room with the bed, but now I got to lay down.

I literally was shaking SO badly. Like my teeth were clattering against each other and when I opened my mouth my jaw was going WILD.

So instead I, forgive me for my English, I held my upper teeth against my lower teeth really tightly.

Again sorry, English is not my first language.

So after I calmed down, they tried again in the other arm. And the first time I was literally pinching my fathers hand so badly but now I felt so weak. 

But they still couldn't find the vein so they said: "Maybe if she relaxes a bit." To each other and I completely relaxed my whole body. It is like I gave up and gave in to death or something like that, I don't know.

Still they couldn't find it.

They went back to the other arm and to this point I was literally begging them to not do it.

We tried again.

This time we did it and I told my dad like: "This hurts way more than the other times." While crying and now I found out that THEY FILLED LIKE 4 TUBES.

That's a lot.

(I don't know if that is a lot.)

So I came back home and I still felt very weak. Like I couldn't move my arms or something.

I only told two of my friends that I fainted. I am going to show you a few conversations.

First we have Isla. 

2nd we have Claire.

But the thing that makes me sad is that they both came to me with things that hurt their thoughts or just something that happened, and I became the therapist friend and I heard them out. Then I told them about that I fainted and they didn't even ask if I am okay.

I also dropped it VERY casually.

--------------------------

Islaaaa<3

Me
Ohh gtg nowww. My father is forcing meto lay on the couch because I fainted after the first prick.

Islaaaa<3
Oh okayyy

--------------------------

ERM EXCUSE ME?!

With Claire it went a little bit similar. Like she told me three of her teeth were pulled out and that she had to be anesthetized. Then I told her: NOW WE BOTH WERE OUT!

She said: HELP AHHAHHAHAHAHHA

I replied with: Yess I fainted after the first bloodprick

She replied with: Very scary.

I actually almost cried.

Another thing that happened today is that I made a breakup basket for Layla!! I put in chocolate, tissues, chips, lip balm and face masks. I cycled to her house after I asked June for the adres. My sister went with me.

We rang the bell and her sister opened the door. I asked if Layla was home and she said yeah and she called for Layla. 

Layla came to the door.

I literally asked her to hold it and when she did my sister and I ran away because I knew that she would refuse it if I stood there for longer. 

Afterwards she thanked me via Whatsapp and she also thanked me via the gc and that made me SO happy.

This was our convo:

--------------------------

Laylaaa<3
THANKS M/N

Me
No probb!!

Clairee<3
Lmao did she give you chocolate

Juneee<3
She did

Me
😋😋
Btw Layla June was also in on it, she gave me your adres.

Clairee<3
June - She did
^
That's no surprise
Ur truly amazing M/N

--------------------------

And after that two more friends said that I am amazing and I was seriously dumbfounded bc idk if I agree.

I also almost had a mental breakdown.

But that was it! I am going to try and shift now because I can not seriously live with school right now.

Bye my loves! I hope you have a great day and please remember to eat three full meals every day!

You can't message me through Wattpad anymore.

So I made up an instagram acc where you guys can message me if you want.

Username is ae.special6

justme

I don't really know if I am going to post anything,

Now I am really going to go.

Bye my loves!! <33