My Diary

15-2-2024

Dear diary,

Today was horrible. I first woke up too late. I went to horseback riding and that's where the teacher made me cry.

After that, I didn't have long to get ready for my best friend's party. I got ready, bought her some presents and I tried make up.

I arrived at her house and all her friends from her school were there. They were all wearing make up and they all looked perfect. Now I am even more insecure because I thought that I looked good today.

The whole party I was on the side. Everyone kinda ignored me and I didn't fit in, at all.

During the party I texted some other friends that weren't there. I read all the texts that they already sent to each other and one of them was basically saying that if you have one insufficient or more, that you are stupid. And basically everyone is smart in our group except for me.

I have been struggling in school the past few months and I felt personally attacked.

I texted back. "If that's true then I am the stupidest bitch ever."

I reacted to another text with: "I feel personally attacked."

She answered with: "But you always feel personally attacked."

That's true because that bitch always attacks me with words. It can be, "You're dumb." Or "Stop being so excited." Sorry girl but that is my personality.

Yesterday I read a book where a girl was attacked on all sides. She fake dated a boy and he told everyone. Then she was called a whore, slut, hoe. She is in an arranged marriage with him and her TWIN BROTHER. Calls her a whore. After that she says that she didn't want to marry him. She knows a way to break the curse.

Her father says that she is selfish and that he wouldn't dare to call her his daughter anymore.

If you want to break the vow, one of the two has to die. She committed suicide.

I cried.

And all those people who bullied her cried.

People only regret what they did and said, after it's too late.

She said she would forgive them but not forget what they did and said. I would've probably done the same.

I trust people way too fast.

I also didn't shift. I feel horrible. Would it just be easier to end it all?

Goodnight.