it's getting easier
realizing im not your person anymore
like i sit here and see im on open
21 hours ago
tell myself i won't break and text you
ive been watching it go up
all day long
from 10 hours, to 12, to 18 to 21
and i broke and I texted you and you
were active but didn't answer
you're sitting at home right now
not doing anything
you have nothing better to do than text me
but again, im no priority for you
i went through my camera roll
saw pictures where we were so
so fucking happy
and videos of us giggling
and you saying I love you
first
and all of our memories
laid to rest in my camera roll
and it hurt
and i wanted to cry
but it doesn't hurt like it did
not like it did
it's getting easier
realizing that even though I wanna talk to you
you don't care if you talk to me
i texted you
no response again, surprise surprise
but it's not anything I didn't expect now
you don't need me, and you don't want me
maybe you think you'll go find better
someone who treats you better than I did
someone who is a better person than I was
someone who loves you better than I can
you can't
someone will love you, later
but it won't be like I did
all consuming
give everything that I've got
puts you above me, always
ill never stop loving you
not that kind of love
never again that kind of love
you'll find another
by the time im "ready" for you
and you'll fall hard and fast
and sometimes late at night
when you're in bed with her
you'll think of the way I loved you
and how you took it for granted
and promised me you'd change
that we'd be better
and you lied to me and cheated
and you'll wonder how im doing
and you'll wonder if I found better than you
and you'll wonder if im happy
and i will be happy
ill finally be happy
because i won't have to give all of me
to someone for less than half in return
i won't have to give
an overabundance of myself
to combat your idealization of
what love is supposed to look like
i won't have to give everything I have
for nothing
i won't have to be the rock
and the guardian
and the safe place
and the sanity of that person
not like how i was for you
and maybe, js maybe
ill finally be able to fall into someone's arms
without worrying that he might not catch me
YOU ARE READING
Things to know
Poetrythis is a poetry book filled with poems that describe how I feel about myself, and some of them describe my relationships with some people, and the last few were just inspiration that hit and they came out on the paper
