Things to know

some kind of beautiful

I looked in the mirror a million times
And hated myself more every time I looked
I fanned the flames of my hatred
With my insecurities
Told myself I was better off dead
I walked around with a smile
Made everyone laugh constantly
While inside I was struggling
I wore a mask every day
And never took it off
I wore it so long
I forgot what I looked like
On the inside
I forgot the monster I was fighting all along
Was the person looking back at me
I ran around and "enjoyed myself"
Told my friends it was fun
We should do that again
Told my family I was fine
Told everyone I was happy

But I'd get home
And the feelings would build up
And in the dark of my room
It would explode outwards
Taking me to the darkest depths
The tears that streamed down my face
Could have made the next great ocean
I hated me
Hated the person looking back at me
Hated how I looked
How I talked
The way I laughed
My weight
My smile
My teeth
My lips
I hated everything about me

And then one day
The mask slipped off
And someone saw the me that lay beneath
And instead of running in terror
Instead of calling me a monster
They smiled gently
Told me I was beautiful
That I was worthy of being loved
That my insecurities
My imperfections
Were beautiful
That I was beautiful
Because I was unique and different

They saw who I was on the inside
And the mask hit the ground
And shattered
I was left there
Nothing to cover myself with
Nothing to hide behind
And I hated it
I tried to run but it didn't work
I cried but no tears would come
The sobs that I expected to rip
My throat wide open
They never came
The insecurities
That once consumed my life
Became small and insignificant

I looked in the mirror
And instead of seeing a monster
Instead of seeing all of my
Ugly pieces
I saw someone who was growing
I saw someone losing the baby fat
In the face
I saw myself losing weight
I saw that my eyes were beautiful
My lips weren't horrible
And the sum of it all
Was some kind of beautiful id
Never seen before

I was a kind of beautiful id never seen before
You will too
It will come
It takes time
The best things in life do
But the right friends will build you up
The right people will love you
The right clothes will make you feel good
Tattoos or piercings or hair dye
Will make you feel like you
You'll look in the mirror
And just think
This is me
And I'm some kind of beautiful I've
Never seen before

And you'll welcome it