Comeback

~ Chapter 52 ~

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Chapter 52
Wednesday November 23rd
Lennon's POV

I was positive that Theo referring to Hudson as his dad was what caused Harry to relapse. The timing makes sense, and Harry did sort of leave the house quicker the second time he watched the kids for me. If he was upset over Theo's comment, it checks out.

I understand more clearly why Harry thought he needed to have a drink, but I still felt like I was left in a very weird predicament. On one hand, I'm sympathizing more with Harry and I feel bad that our son's innocent sentence pushed him to ruin the progress that he had made.

On the other, I can't have Harry getting drunk to drown out every time Theo will say something like that. Because that might have been the first time it happened, but it certainly won't be the last.

This is one of many reasons I warned Harry about Theo and Hudson's relationship, because the two of them did form a close bond and I knew that could potentially be harmful to Harry. He told me he understood, but I guess hearing it aloud from him for the first time had a stronger effect on him than he was anticipating.

Which is why for the last few days I've still been in this weird headspace about the entire thing. As much as I now can feel for Harry and everything on that side, I still cannot have his alcohol use be present in our lives again. It was too hurtful the last time for me, and I don't want it to be the same for Theo and the twins since he was becoming a part of their life too.

One side of me wants to forgive but the other side can't let go.

Maybe I sound like the world's worst person right now, but it's a confusing and difficult situation for all of us.

Because I didn't want to make any decisions when I'm unsure, I still haven't reached out to Harry. I didn't want to text him back and give him false hope that I'm immediately putting this behind us. I don't know if the silent treatment is any better, but my brain is too tired to keep having to deal with things like this.

On top of all of my own confusion about it all, Theo has asked me two more times when he gets to see Harry again. It's starting to pull on my heartstrings and immediately give in to give the poor boy what he wants, but I just can't yet.

Today is 2 weeks since Harry arrived at the hospital, frantically getting rushed in on a stretcher with a whole team of medical professionals running over to give him the treatment that he needed. A sight that I'll never forget. How he was lying there unconscious as I thought he could die at any moment is up there in the list of things I've seen that are engrained in my brain forever.

The moment my eyes read the note that he left, Hudson's funeral when I saw him for the last time, arriving home to an empty house after I gave birth, and Harry unconscious on a hospital bed.

Some of the hardest moments of my life, and ones that I can't seem to forget.

I walked into the hospital today with what felt like the weight of the world on my shoulders, something that Samantha seemed to notice because the moment I threw my stuff down, she was coming over with a curious look on her face and asking me "What's going on?"

Oh you know, just the return and relapse of my once deadbeat baby daddy, the death of my fiancé, keeping up with adult life like cleaning the house and grocery shopping, the disappointment of my parents, and the needs of 3 small children depending on me 24/7. Normal everyday things.

"Nothing" I answered.

"I don't believe you"

"Just...tired" I answered, which is the truth.