How Could It Happen? (A Jungkook FANFIC)

15 || Fifteenth Chapter - I'M SORRY, IT'S TERRIBLE

{YOUR P.O.V}

That morning I woke up very early, because, while I slept, I felt a little bad and I was awakened by a severe headache. In addition, I had also a cold and sore throats. Probably, flu symptoms. But I did not care that much. I put my hand on the door and I heard the others talking.

-10 Years, huh?- Jungkook's mother said, sounding calm and strange.

-10 years.- He said, sounding sad. 10 years what? I wanted to know too! So I went into the room and saw them with empty eyes. They were strange, but they smiled at me.

-Oh, Minjang!- The mother of Jungkook stood up suddenly and, coming up to me, smiled.

-Uh? Hi! Why are you all so...- I greeted but I was unable to finish the sentence that the mother of Jungkook stopped me, putting a finger on my lips.

-Go to have breakfast!- She just told me and I did it. Meanwhile, I heard Jungkook leave the house and as soon as I finished breakfast, mother came to me and put her hand on my shoulder.

-Minjang ah, please... Go with Jungkook...- She asked, smiling.

-Eh? Why? Where is he going? - I asked, puzzled.

-You'll see. Please, just go! I think he needs it...- She looked to her husband who nodded, but said nothing.

-Oh, a-arasso...-  (I understand) I replied, puzzled. I wonder where he was going and why I had to go too. But I stopped asking questions and went out.

{JUNGKOOK'S P.O.V}

It was December 26th. And this year too, the day had come. It had already been 10 years since my hyung was dead. I missed him a lot, I wanted to see him again. That's why I visited him. First, I went to the florist and asked to give me yellow lilies, chrysanthemums and white roses. Those were the flowers that I brought him every year, the flowers of the deads. The florist was so happy to give me those flowers... I could not even hold the flowers. My heart hurted just thinking about the reason why I was buying them. So sad. I walked in the cemetery where there were buried even my grandparents, next to him. I went in front of his tomb and I knelt there. There were korean traditions only for the first two and three years after the death. In the years after it did not matter. In fact, I did not wear the sangbok and I did no any rite. Only I knelt and prayed so that he could be fine in the hereafter. I just hoped that after ten years of being a kaekkwi (ghost), he still remember me and protect me from the heaven. I knew he would never have gone and that he was always there with me, that every day he was by my side and protected me. He still loved me, after 10 years, as much as I loved him. Could love exist between a living person and a ghost? Yes, it could. Mine and my hyung's love was an example. As I thought about him, I began to have a tear. And then two. And then three. I missed him so much. I wanted him back immediately. Why can't people come back? I could wait no more. Why don't you come back? Ah, right, dead never come back. Why can't they? We are here to wait for them, but why they don't want to return? Is it because they are happy and are better there? Or they want to return but they can't? If it was like that, then, my only desire was to know if my hyung wanted to come back to me and be together. At least for a day. People say that we have more question marks than reference points. It's actually true. I wanted to know a lot about my brother's death. So many questions about him. But I also had a reference point; my hyung.

-After 10 years, I still can't see you... When do you come back? When?- I asked him in tears and sobs.

-Hyung, you're stupid! Why don't you come back?! Hyung I miss you... I'm here!- I began to get angry with him. Why? Why?!

-Hyu-ung...- I gave myself two taps on the chest. I could not stop crying. At one point I heard footsteps behind me."Hyung? Is it my hyung who came back to see me for today or forever?" I thought. "No, impossible. What a fool." I added, shaking my head. Anyway that someone stood behind me for a while and then dropped to my height and hugged me from behind. I felt its head to lean on mine and the embrace become softer. I felt it was the body of a girl; I also felt her hair. And from that I recognized it was Minjang.

-Jungkook... I'm so sorry... I didn't know it...- she murmured. Then I stood up and, turning around, I hugged her even stronger. I just needed a hug and just by her, who had taught me that beautiful phrase. Here I was receiving a hug that I had lost. I wanted that embrace won't never leave me, though it was a person that I did not like. I rested my head on her shoulder and hugged her stronger, crying more.

-Uljima...- She walked away so that we could look. I felt embarrassed to show her me like that, because I felt helpless in front of someone who I thought worth less than me. So I wiped my tears and smiled.

-Mianhae!- I apologized, laughing.

-You don't need to...- She seemed sad.

-Let's go!- She smiled after.

{YOUR P.O.V}

Following Jungkook, I saw that he went and took some flowers from the florist. There were yellow lilies, white roses and white chrysanthemums."Aren't those the flowers for the deads?" I thought, a bit worried. The idea made me feel bad, and it was almost as if I felt a pang in my heart. It hurted just thinking about it. I followed him and we got to the cemetery. So it was true: he was going to find someone dead. This explains the three dressed in black. But who could it be? I followed him and stood behind a tree near the tomb where he was heading. He bowed to the dead and I tried to read the inscription on the tomb:"Jeon Jung Hyun, R.I.P". Jeon Junghyun? Who could it be? He had the same last name of Jungkook and a syllable of the name, typical of close relatives, such as brothers or fathers. Jungkook watched and wept. He gave me such tenderness.

-After 10 years, I still can't see you... When do you come back? When?- He seemed to be talking with the dead.

-Hyung you're stupid! Why don't you come back?! Hyung I miss you... I'm here!- Hyung. And so it was his older brother. I did not imagine that he had one and that he was dead. I felt even worse, I was so sorry.

-Hyu-ung ...- he gave himself two taps on the chest. He seemed to not want to cry. I had a desire to get close to him and comfort him. I did not want, but my legs started to move by themselves and walk toward him. I finally understood that it was really too bad to be left there alone. I bent down and hugged him tight. I felt he needed someone close to him. He had no one, apart from his parents, who could be closer to him more than me in that moment. I felt sad for him, although if he was a person who  I despised.

-Jungkook ... I'm so sorry ... I didn't know it...- I muttered. Then he stood up and, turning, embrace me even stronger. I felt like he was smaller than me, like a helpless dog looking for a mistress to comfort him. I felt really bad. I turned away so that we could look.

-Uljima...- He wiped the tears immediately.

-Mianhae!- He apologized laughing.

-You don't need to...- He was obviously desperate.

-Let's go!- I smiled, trying to make him stop thinking about bad things. We left the cemetery to go for a walk. I suddenly felt a pang of terrible headache, but I didn't care that much and I kept pretend smiles while Jungkook was speaking. I put my hand on his forehead, clenching my teeth and hoping he would not notice.

-Is it all right?- He asked me, smiling a bit worried.

-Oh? Oh, yeah... It's all right...- I just replied. Of course it wasn't. I thought that was something too strange. I had never suffered from any disease or disorder, then I did not understand what it could be. But I remembered that in those days, almost since a month, I was not very comfortable with health, but did not tell anyone because I thought it was normal. I went to search the cell symptoms, while walking, pretending that I was talking with my friend Seulgi. I found all of my symptoms under a "disease." For weeks I was often very sleepy, I felt weakness, fatigue and heard strange ringing in the ears. Also I was very pale because I did not ate very much. I was under pressure from too much study and constantly annoyed by Mrs. Jeon, I even forgot to eat. According to what I had found, recently I suffered from low blood pressure. Which I thought was odd, because I had always been a very healthy person since I was a baby. I only caught scarlet fever and chickenpox with 40°C of fever once but then anything else. The pain in my head was increased and I began to worry. Then I had a strange blurring of sight. I could not see the road well and I was feeling hesitant, as if I had dizziness. I lost my balance for a few seconds and then I fainted.