Lilia's Tale: Freyja's Endeavor

Chapter 36: Umbrella

My first reaction was to place my hand on my forehead in disbelief. I knew, deep inside, what reality was. I knew it all too well, yet I simply couldn't accept it. The responsibilities, the unnecessarily high standard by which I will be placed against, and the possible following if this were to be known...

I threw my head backwards and starting giggling at my now certain fate. It took a bit for me to calm down and look around, in despair. I was glad that Sayuri wasn't in the room, seeing the weird laugh I just did, but that was the best thing to happen from the situation.

I looked back at the relic and put my hand on its side. I could still feel the connection between it and I. I could feel it clearly enough that there was no room for any doubt of any kind. I was... No. I am the goddess Jotunheim, and I will have to live with it.

I took a deep breath and cleared my thoughts as I exhaled. There was a lot to think of, both past and future, so I needed a clear head for it. I went directly into my bed and started pondering.

In the end, Miyu was right. It's nice to wish to have my own life, a normal one away from such extravagant titles, but the world cares not for my wishes. Who and what I was and will be is not for me to decide, not entirely at least.

At this point, I had fled my responsibilities for too long. Maybe this was why Asgard wanted to talk to me so often, or kept giving me instructions. Either way, I would have to start accepting them even if I didn't want to.

I sighed, loudly, and looked up at the ceiling. My already hectic life was about to get even worse, and for reasons outside of my control. I opened my mouth, ready to speak my mind in a whisper as if to talk to myself, as I heard from the side:

"Is something wrong?"

I nearly jumped in surprise, immediately sitting in response. I hadn't heard Sayuri come in, but I sure was glad I didn't have time to say anything.

"Yes...Well, kind of. Just some unpleasant thoughts."

"I see. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, I just need to be alone."

She looked somewhat saddened but simply replied after a short silent moment:

"Okay. Did you eat dinner?"

"No, I'm not hungry do I'll skip it. You go ahead."

"...Okay..."

She was visibly worried now. I smiled at her as honestly as I could, hoping she would get the message, but it seemed to backfire. Maybe the smile was too artificial and readable. Either way, she went back down the ladder and I was once more left alone.

I looked back at the ceiling, keeping to myself the very thoughts I had just called unpleasant. Was there anything I would have to do moving forward as a goddess? Was there maybe something Asgard needed of me? Either way, only one person could answer, and I can't contact her myself.

I took some extra time to organise my thoughts and put a priority on things. I figured whatever mission I was on wasn't cancelled due to my sudden realisation, so I would keep working hard on it. However, two more important pieces of work showed up:

Contact Asgard in some way and ask certain questions. Most notably, ask what am I to do as a goddess, and what does she need from me.

The Cataract has something to do with me, in all manners. As a person, for my magic, as a dragon AND as a goddess. I need to do more things with it, but the restriction of not using it means I have to ask the principal first.

It would be somewhat of a case of doing whatever is available at that time. Not a very fun thing to do, but it was necessary. I resolved myself to doing my best to finding opportunities, and waited for the night.