CHAPTER 36: THE HURTFUL PAINFUL TRUTH!!

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CHRIS

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CHRIS

I stood there listening to what was being said and all I wanted to do was hold her and tell her that I love her and that I can't do this without her.

"Bae don't say that please, I need you" I said but she was still standing behind John, I could hear her crying and it was breaking my heart.

"No Chris I can't I gotta go and need to leave this shit here I don't like fearing you." She cried

"Bae please" I say

"No Chris I can't do this anymore I can't take the fear" she cries

"PLEASE DON'T GO"I screamed

"Then what is it tell me why, why won't you let me in, tell me" she cries

"Bae please, I need you I need only you" I cried and I knew after all these years I have to final tell someone and I don't know know how she'll react.

"CHRIS PLEASE, CAUSE IF I WALK OUT THIS DOOR, YOUR FAMILY IS GONE FOR GOOD AND NEVER COMING BACK" She cries

"Okay bae please you remind me so much of my mother so much of her and I think that's why I hit you( the look on her face was painting in confusion) when I was little I watch my mom get beat by my step dad that's no secret to anyone but what is, is my mother use to beat me she use to beat me. I'm not talking about beatings I mean she use to take it out on me and I hated her for that I would wake up to her hitting me beating and you remind me of her so much that I take it out on you the rage I had towards her (fall to my knees in tears) and I'm sorry I know you're not her" I cry and Deanna comes running to me and wraps her arms around me tight and I wrap mines around her.

"Oh Chris, oh my goodness Chris, baby" she says and rubs my head.

"I'm sorry she did this to me and I love my mother to death, and I'm sorry" I cry

"Can we call it a day I just wanna go back and spend the rest of the day with him" she said looking at John.

"Yes sure next session not til next week take the next couple of days for yourselves" he said.

"Come on love, lets get out of here" she says and helps me up and she hugs me tight and we leave the office putting on my shades and after about 20 minutes we made it back to the house and went in I went to the bedroom bathroom and closed the door and sat on the floor and cried just cried I couldn't believe I finally admitted why I was treat Deanna like that she's so sweet and kind and independent and loving and she loves me and she reminds me so much of my mother when I was little and that brought out memories of what happen to me and I lost it and wanted to do what I wanted to when I was little and that's fight back but I couldn't. I remember the first day I hit her I remember it like it was yesterday and I hate it but I remember it.

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