multi-fandom oneshots ( mostly gorillaz and undertale)

How the seduce a door 101 (CRACKFIC)

( -yea this fic is about murdoc seducing the dressing room door XD. no questions just read-)

        It was seemingly just another show for the gorillaz. Murdoc was agitated from waiting what felt like forever for his band to finally be called up to the stage. Anger and annoyance filled his body just wanting to get this gig over with so he wouldn't have to constantly keep an eye on 2d to make sure he doesn't try to flee while there temporarily off of plastic beach. 2d had been asleep on the sofa due to the drugs that murdoc constantly had him on to keep 2d from being able to breach his living hell. Cyborg noodle was connected to her charging device pumping enough energy in the menacing robotic husk for the show.

As murdoc stood in the middle of the small dressing room he then noticed ... .a....quite beautiful sight in the room. A medium sized door on the side of the room. Its shiny golden knob and beautiful simplistic design made murdoc swoone for it . it was more beautiful than any boring twat that murdoc had slept with. Even being more beautiful then 2d's whore of an ex-girlfriend. The door was absolutely irresistible to Murdoc's gaze.

Murdoc tried to stay strong and not break his serious and stern attention on this concert.....but ... ..the door was getting murdoc's full attention being quite the seductive slab of wood. Murdoc gives a huff, finally giving up on resisting as he comes over to the door gently caressing its round and smooth knob in his long and boney fingers . " well hello there beautiful~. You're quite a elegant piece of lumber aren't you~. " 

     The door didn't answer at all to murdoc's flirts and seductive rub of its knob. Murdoc raises a brow at this silent treatment that he's getting from this door . " So you're a quiet one, hm~. Well even without a voice you're beauty and seductive look at me from across the room is telling me that you need a man like me in your life.~"

The door would slightly blush a tint of red on its wooden cheeks still staying silent as murdoc seduces it . Murdoc would pin the already stuck in place door to the wall as he looked at its non-existent eyes caressing the smooth wooden face. " a door like you deserves more than just sex and seductive flirts~. Tell me darling have you ever been on a proper date with a man like me hm?~" before the door could just give murdoc the silent treatment once more murdoc puts one of his gross yellowed claw-like fingernails to the door's presumed mouth. " Let me bring you on the best date you will ever have darling~. You'll be just begging for me to bring you back to my home once we're done~." 

     Murdoc after a few minutes of grabbing things from around the small dressing room brings back two champagne glasses along with a cheap as hell champagne left in the room for the band . He also brings back some chips and sandwiches also for the band. Murdoc gives the door a seductive smirk . " I'm back darling~. Let me pour you some champagne and get you some food.~ such a beautiful door as you shouldnt have to do her own set up for a date~." 

      After a couple minutes murdoc has gotten the food onto the two's paper plates along with pouring out champagne for the both of them. Quite the nice gentlemen to do so. The door simply sits there flustered to the point of not being able to even function at this point. Murdoc raises a brow as he takes a sip of his glass. " Oh dear no need to be so flustered~. I know I'm quite the seductive gentleman but I'm sure you're quite hungry~. " the door still does not even touch the food or alcohol.

Murdoc seemed to notice the door's nervousness looking over to 2d and cyborg noodle who's sparking and at this point is about to combust into sparks from being overcharged. He rolled his eyes at the two before quickly looking back at the door. " Oh just ignore them love~. Both of them are too fucking stupid to realise what we see in each other.~ now let me help you eat since you're still nervous with these two twats messing up are date~."

Murdoc moves over closer to the door. The poor innocent and flustered door could feel the musty warm breath from murdoc's mouth on its wooden frame. Murdoc grabs a sandwich from the door's plate and gently crams it into the door's non-existent mouth, getting the door absolutely covered in sandwich filling . murdoc notices the mess giving a seductive chuckle. " you're quite the messy eater~. Let me clean you up~. " murdoc quickly licks the door up and down, licking the sandwich off the poor now traumatized door. 

     Murdoc swallows down the sandwich before looking back at the harassed door now covered in murdoc's gross saliva. Murdoc chuckled at the door's non-existent flustered and blush covered face. " did you like that hm?~ do you want to do that again?~" the door unable to defend itself in any way still stays dead fucking silent about to be a whole new door by the end of this.

Murdoc would pick up the champagne that the door had, looking at the featureless and no longer innocent piece of wood. " Let's try it with the alcohol this time, love~. Make it even more fun for the both of us~." the door wasn't given even a moment to argue or give consent to this idea before murdoc forces the champagne into the door's non-existent mouth . Once again the champagne goes all down the door drenching the poor thing in alcohol.

Murdoc looks at the alcohol soaked door giving a flirty smirk as he begins to lick the door once again slurping up every single drop of alcohol. The door now drenched in disgusting spit as it loses any ounce of innocence it had before this incident. Murdoc looks at the now completely trauma filled door with a smirk. " It was fun darling~. Let's do it more.~" 

    Once again the door just silently watches as murdoc grabs the bottle of champagne absolutely drenching the door in the alcohol. It made the whole room smell of disgusting cheap liquor, even soaking the carpet under the door. That definitely isn't ever fully coming out. Murdoc smirked as he began to drench the door in saliva gulping down the alcohol like it was fucking water . Murdoc's knees were getting soaked in the liquor from the wet carpet but he didn't care in the slightest, now completely blocking out his surroundings. His only goal was to satisfy the door and treat it like the thick and sexy door it's.

After a couple hours 2d groaned waking up from his short nap. His nostrils are being burned by the smell of alcohol. He was still high off the drugs but he was sober enough to notice murdoc passed the fuck out next to the sin covered door. 2d. Cringed at seeing how moist the door was from murdoc's disgusting tongue. 2d so badly wanted to leave.....but....he was restrained to the couch since murdoc had zero trust in him...2d sighed forcing himself to sink back into the uncomfortable soda as he smothers his face with a cushion to get the horrid smell out of his nostrils. He just wanted all of this to end.....he also feared to know what murdoc did to that poor door ... ..2d cries himself to sleep as cyborg noodle finally gets too overcharged and makes the electricity of the dressing room go out. 2d just wants his normal fucking life back.