MY WAY - Amelia's Daughter

2. Dinner

"Dinners ready" I said closing the laptop. Jakob and I got up to go greet my family for dinner.

I sat down between my mom and Jakob and across from Aunt Mer.

    I zoned out to the sound of everyone's silverware clinking and quiet conversation. I could feel Jakob's eyes burning a hole into my back.

    I looked at the boy for a brief second his face filled with a warm smile. I quickly turned back around to hear my mother retelling the story from her surgery today.

    "Moe don't forget Cheer tryouts are this week" My mom reminded me "Every time I hear about cheer I always think about highschool when all my friends were trying out for the team so i decided to do it too and i fell on my ass and the cute guy on the football team saw and I got mocked by everyone for the rest of the school year" Aunt Mer said laughing everyone else joining in. Jakob is the cute boy on the football team.  "And now Morgans going to be in highschool" Aunt Maggie reminded everyone.

    "She's growing up too fast" my mom pouted. "Next thing you know she's gonna be off to college" aunt maggie added. "I don't even wanna think about college I have no idea what to do with my life" I said with a giggle.

    "When I grow up I wanna be just like my daddy" Zo chimed in. "Do you now" my mom said trying to smile but I could hear the grief in her voice recalling her dead brother. It's been hard around here without Derek we all really do miss him.

    "Do you think I can?" Zola asked "Of course zozo your a very smart girl you could do anything you want"

    Just then Bailey knocked over his milk causing a flood to go across the table. Mom and Mer ran to get towels to clean it up while Maggie ran to rescue Bailey from getting soaked himself. while Ellis just sat there wide eyed looking at the mess.

    I tried to eat my dinner without looking at Jakob but i could feel his eyes on me which gave me butterflies in my stomach and my throat go hot.

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    As dinner came to a close Jakob and I went to sit on the front porch. "That was a little awkward" I sighed "haha I almost died when Bailey spilled his milk" Jakob laughed.

"School starts in two weeks" I recounted "yeah i guess summers over before we know it" Jakob chuckled. "Im just so scared to grow up, you know?" I asked "yeah but honestly id be happy to spend my whole life with you here" he smiled at me and my heart melted "yeah I guess I wouldn't mind either."

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    Even after Jakob left life somehow went on. I took it upon myself to finally get to reorganizing the playroom that had become a disaster after the amount of quick clean up we had recently.

    "Hey" my mom said lingering in the door way "hey" I smiled back at her. "I hope you know how amazing you are Moe and I mean it I don't know any other teenager who would willingly clean their cousins playroom" my mom laughed.

   "That you but it's really nothing I just knew it needed to be done and wanted to help out" I said honestly. "Exactly what I mean, I literally could never ask for a better daughter" my mom smiled.

    I hugged her tight and felt her hug back. My mother is my best friend, savior, and inspiration I'm nothing without her and my separation anxiety is living proof of that fact.

    "You wanna come watch Gilmore Girls with me?" My mom offered "of course" I smiled

    Where we left off last time was my favorite episode of the show, Rory's Chilton graduation. Mom and I love the show, mostly because Rory and Lorelei are literally us.

    I was curled up on my mom with my head on her shoulder. "You're the best thing to ever happen to me Morgan" my mom said stroking my hair. "I love you Momma" I said "I love you too Moe Moe" She said kissing the top of my head.

    I fell asleep in my mother's arms half way through the episode. I was truly exhausted from such a fulfilling day.

    Good days are low in supply so best not to waste. Today was a good day no arguing about it

    I love my family more than anything but still theres something missing. Someones missing. As the oldest of the grey/shepherd kids I remember him most vividly.

   Uncle Derek was a man best described in many words. But if you had to put it in to simpler terms he was a funny and kind man. He was the kind of man who would do anything to help other people. He was a big feelings type of guy. Reckless at times but always meant well

    But for my mom however he was so much more.  He was her person. He was to her what she is to me. My mom was destroyed from loosing her brother everyone was but if anyone had it the hardest it was my mom.

    I love my Aunt Meredith but I don't think I could ever forgive her what she did to my mom. I get she was going through a lot but never did she ever apologize to my mom for the way she was treated.

    And I don't think she will ever even know how badly it affected her. She wasn't there when my mom was up all night sobbing or when she almost relapsed. She wasn't there for any of that but it was messy to say the least.