Memories Begin in Summer

Chapter 28: Maki

"Can I go with someone else? Maybe you or Yumi?" I asked Mama.

I don't know how long I've been persuading Mama just so I can avoid Sid. That man and his words! Hanggang ngayon, binabaliw pa rin ako ng mga sinabi n'ya. I don't think I can face him after what he had said to me earlier. 

Mama shook her head, her gaze still locked at our television screen. "Busy kami parehas. Hindi ka namin masasamahan." 

"Then ask someone else?" I suggested more. "I'm good with anyone." I'm not, but I'll try. Huwag lang si Sid. I don't think my sanity can handle that man.

"Mang-iistorbo ka pa ng iba, nariyan naman si Sid." she replied before putting a handful of chips to her mouth. She's really enjoying the show kahit na hindi naman maganda. It mainly revolves around third parties and marital conflicts. I don't even understand why these two beautiful women waste their time on the guy. He's not even good looking.

I rolled my eyes before throwing my back on the couch. "Fine, I'll just stay here  in the house for a week." I crossed my arms, upset. 

Mama paused the series to look at me. She even narrowed her eyes. "Ano bang problema mo? Ayos naman kayo ni Sid kanina, ah? Nag-away ba kayo?"

I instantly shook my head. "No. Of course not. I just..." I trailed off. Damn, I cannot think a good reason to avoid him. Hindi ko naman pwedeng sabihin 'yung sinabi ni Sid kanina. Mama would be really elated if she knew about it. 

"Ano?" Mama asked me, impatiently. "Takot kang mahulog ulit sa kanya?" 

My eyes widened. "No!" I instantly denied. "Why would I be scared?" 

"Iyon nga din ang ipinagtataka ko. Bakit ka matatakot? E, safe na safe naman 'yang puso mo kay Sid." Mama told me before returning her gaze on our television. 

My face heated upon hearing that. Actually, It wasn't really my concern because at the back of my mind, I knew that Sid can take a good care of me. With the way he treats his family with kindness and sincerity,  I doubt he and his conscience can bear to hurt me or anyone. He was so nice, it's so scary to hurt him, too. 

I'm more worried for him than to myself.  I can't trust that I'll treat him right, given the condition I have right now. I don't want him to suffer because of me. He doesn't deserve that kind of pain.

My ruminations ended when Mama spoke again. "Kung ang kondisyon mo ang pumipigil sa'yo na mahalin si Sid, mas lalo mo lang din pinahihirapan ang sitwasyon niyong dalawa."

I fidgeted my fingers, not knowing what to react. She's right. My condition hinders me to pursue my feelings for Sid. If it's only that easy, I would give Sid my whole heart without any hesitance. But sadly, it's not.

It seemed like I cannot persuade Mama anymore, so I left her in the living room and went back to my bedroom. There, I flopped myself on the bed. I was thinking how can I face him tomorrow when I realized that sooner or later, I'll forget everything that he had said to me. That made my heart eased for a little. Hindi na ako mahihirapang kausapin siya bukas.