Too Deep Too Late (Suicidal Izuku Midoriya)

On record

Things like that never disappear. Problems won't just go away. Recovery is a long journey, and you have to remember that. Izuku didn't.

It was a rough night. Midoriya lay there, curled up in his new bed, wearing the green hoodie he got from Todoroki. He couldn't sleep, feeling like such a failure. Tomorrow was Monday and Aizawa had promised to let him come back to class, and Izu had been so happy. Now however he felt only dread, he wasn't ready.

The stress was building back up again. He could almost hear it, "Midoriya you have not been doing enough work! How can you be so lazy when your classmates are so hard working. You should quit!", "Deku! You useless piece of shit! Why haven't you left the school yet, huh?!? You think you are better than us?!", "Midoriya-kun, I thought you were like the other heroes, you deceived me and made me like you!".

His big emerald eyes were filled with tears again. He's such a cry baby. Absolutely useless and too weak to be a good hero. No one would ever want him to work for their agency. No one would trust him to save anyone. Soon Aizawa would see he's just a fraud.

Soon the morning sun peeked in from between the dark, heavy curtains and on to the wide-awake boy like a golden blanket. The only sounds were soft cries and the clock on the wall, doing its duty as silently as it knew how to. Next to the bed, on the floor, were crumpled up papers, books, pencils, and a folded up black hoodie. Soft blankets moved up and down in a steady rhythm as the boy cried.

A gust of wind rattled the wooden window frame. Green curly hair covering his face, Izuku sat up rubbing his eyes and sniffled. Looks like he needs to get up if he wants to be ready in time. His eyes need time to stop being so red. Izuku took note of the last nights mess and, promising himself he'd clean later, got up and took a look around for some pants. Finding none he opened a closet and picked out some loose baggy pants.

With his feet now inside warm fluffy socks, Izuku opened his door and walked to the kitchen area. Glancing at the clock tiredly, it was only six, so there wasn't anyone awake yet. He would be alone for a while more. He took an orange and while peeling it, muttered.

It was something Izuku Midoriya was embarrassed about. His mother said it was just a part of him and that it was nothing to be ashamed of, but that wasn't what the kids, or the other adults in his life, said. He now understood it to be annoying, irritating, a reason to make people shut him up- it wasn't a good habit. 

Izuku really tried to stop for good when coming to U.A. but all of the cool quirks and heroes and amazing skills had made it impossible to control. He still made friends, so maybe it wasn't that bad? Or they were too polite to tell him to shut the fuck u-

" Good morning problem child."

" G-good morning, A-Aizawa-sensei!"

" ...Is that all you're going to eat?"

" Y-yes?"

Shota sighed and opened the fridge door. He took out a couple of eggs and murmured.

" Sit down, I'll make you something."

Soon Izuku had some rice with egg and miso soup in front of him.

" ...Did you sleep at all?"

" H-how...?"

" You look like a mess. Your dark circles are almost as bad as mine."

He sat across from Izuku and took a sip of his coffee.

" Wanna talk about it? Or would you prefer Inui-san."