Too Deep Too Late (Suicidal Izuku Midoriya)

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Izuku was- well he wasn't sure. He felt better, after all he had slept a total of fifteen hours with clean clothes. He was also served a delicious tonkatsu dinner with a side of edamame and warm miso. He'd been given some pain medication with that awful purple juice, so he wasn't in pain anymore either.

But something was still wrong. He could feel it in his chest. It almost felt like he was living in a world of grey, no colour in sight and breathing in toxic fog, making him sluggish, tired, and overall sad. He would cry if he just had the energy to, but he didn't so the feeling was stuck in his throat. Even the thought of going to class and having to smile and talk made him spiral into a panic.

Izuku felt like sleeping more, possible another fifteen hours, and his wrists felt horribly itchy. He would scratch them but didn't want to open more of the neatly done stitches and make Recovery Girl mad. Izu took the tray and put it to the side table. He kept thinking about the conversation with Hound Dog and how he had been foolish by not asking for an autograph. Maybe he could write some notes about the hero's quirk the next time they see each other?

Next time... It was tomorrow. Midoriya was not looking forward to it at all. He felt like his teacher was making a big deal out of nothing and wasting his precious time on a failure of a student. Izuku should be braver, should be stronger, should be able to handle more like his friends. Like Kacchan.

Midoriya sighed. Oh well, at least he didn't have to see his classmates yet. He still didn't know what he was going to say to his friends. Like "Hey, sorry I disappeared for days and didn't contact any of you. I have been coping with self-harm for years now because of decades of bullying and abuse and went a little too far, and you know, almost died of blood loss. And my sensei thought I was going to kill myself, so I was locked in the recovery wing! How was your week?"

Yeah no.

Izuku rubbed his eyes and sent out a silent prayer to anyone who might be listening. His emerald green eyes opened and landed on to his phone, laying on his lap. Scarred fingers brushed the screen, lighting it up and showing messages after messages. Maybe he could just say that it was a family emergency? Yeah, that sounded believable.

Izuku opened their class "Super awesome future pro-heroes group chat" chat and typed "Hey guys. Sorry for disappearing like that and making you all worried. I have some family stuff going on and need to leave for a couple of days. Nothing too bad, I promise, but I need to be there for my mother. My phone will be on silent so I can't answer your messages. Thank you and again, sorry for worrying you all."

He pressed sent and waited. It didn't take a minute longer to start getting worried replies wishing him well and apologising for the number of messages sent. His closest friends, Iida and Uraraka, made him promise to call if he needed some extra support or homework help. He really appreciated it.

He closed the chat and started checking his private messages. There were a lot of "Where are you?" and "Are you okay??" from various people. Iida started by stating the rules about curfew and how proper sleep was most important but when he didn't get any replies, his messages became more frantic. Izuku felt really guilty for making his friends so distressed. What surprised him the most were the messages from Todoroki and Kacchan.

Izuku started by opening Kacchan chat and, oh no.