The Neighbor Next Door

Climbing and falling

Honestly, despite how the last few months of the past year has gone, January felt uneventful. Just a lot of slow, peaceful moments towards making any bit of progress again. Coming to the realization he was softer now had honestly helped a lot. He felt like he had the capability to act and feel kinder, both towards others, but mostly himself. Obviously one month wasn't going to completely heal him. Obviously there were still horrible, scary, difficult days, but... The majority was nice. OJ was still there for him. His kids were still kind as ever towards him-- even past the occasional teasing which he really didn't mind, but...

It was all just very nice. He wasn't able to admit it to himself before, just because of how hard everything still was at the time, but being included, being in this house, it felt nice. It really felt like he was part of some kind of family again. A feeling he had craved for so many years of his life that he finally had again. He liked that a lot, really. Even if he'd never be able to admit any of this to anyone. Even if he'd never be able to fully express how grateful he was to his boyfriend about this, it was all just... Nice. And that's all it needed to be.

Right now, MePhone found himself in his boyfriends room, scrolling through various cat related videos on his phone. OJ was downstairs doing laundry, or something, leaving him, and the cat who was also in the room to just hang out. It was one of the better days for him. It was a Wednesday, and MePhone had dragged OJ out to take a walk with him, because though it was slow progress, he wanted to get back into being a little more active again, so this had been a good start, and motivation. Overall, it had been a good day, though... He wasn't exactly sure if these good days would last. It had been building up, really. The simple thought that he was going to have to go back to his own home some time soon. He... Didn't really want to, and it wasn't like he believed he was a burden currently, it was just... Well, he didn't really know. He just wanted to be able to go home, honestly. Even if it hurt. Even if the house itself was hurting him. He knew maybe it would be a stupid idea, but it was still his home. He couldn't just stay with OJ forever. Not like this. Not while feeling this unsafe in his house. That wasn't any way he wanted to leave it. He wanted to at least... Try to live in it again. Even though he was happy with OJ at his house, it wasn't... Normal. It wasn't his normal, at least.

He just wanted to go back into his house without feeling scared, really. Even if he had to build up to actually wanting to live in his home again, he wanted to feel safe in it. Or maybe that was the last step. Either way, he needed to make the first step soon-- which was just being able to go into the house again.

But that also brought the problem up of bringing the idea to OJ. He was afraid all he was going to hear was that this was a bad idea. Something about this possibly just hurting him in the long run, but this was just... Regardless of how it would end up, it felt like something he needed to do.

He just felt nervous when OJ finally made his way up to the room. He had long set his phone on the nightstand next to the bed, just sitting there to think. OJ could tell something was up the moment he entered the room. He didn't point anything out yet though.

"Hey,"
"Hey." MePhone kept his gaze on the blanket over his lap, fiddling with a bit of it in his hands to calm his nerves. He didn't think OJ would be mad at him or anything, this was just... A difficult subject. He was doing so well lately.

"Uhm... How was laundry?" He decided to ask, hoping to keep the conversation light for the time being.

"Well, it was laundry. I put some of your clothes in,"

"Oh, thanks," MePhone just gave a small smile to the other despite his nerves, as OJ moved over to the dresser in the room, pulling out a pair of sweatpants he planned to sleep in, setting them aside. MePhone looked away to be polite, even if it didn't really matter at the point, he still just felt a little awkward. Eventually, OJ joined him, sitting on the side of the bed first, moving his hand to hold over MePhone's.