all those rage, and i'm still here?

nine

"Love, I suppose? Must be pleasant."

I don't believe in love. I'm certain that such romantic encounters only happen to believers and those who see the world through rose-colored glasses. I'm not one of them. But as I gaze into the world, I see everyone in such a happy mood with the ones they love. People who hold hands with each other, with genuine smiles on their faces and words uttered with the utmost sincerity, would make their hearts flutter. Roses and chocolates are handed to their lovers as if it's them against the world. Love—is it that nice? Or is it just the romanticizing that makes it seemingly beautiful? I keep myself in misery by knowing that such things are too far-fetched to be experienced.

Someone scoffed. It was a man seated at the table just in front of me, alone. I saw him roll his eyes as he looked at everyone outside. I looked at them as I rested my head on my right wrist, still embracing how lonely I felt. At that point, the sky turned gray, and I could see flowers flying around, possibly as a result of the brisk temperature. I observed how some people's loving eyes turned enraged and vile, while others were overcome with despair and terror. It was inaudible, but I figured they were shouting and arguing. When I turned to see who was laughing, it was the man in front of me.

Now that it was raining, the sky was darker this time. A lot of the people outside were left alone by their partners. They cried and embraced themselves. Others shouted. Some appeared to be lost. The rain continued. All of the optimism earlier seemed to have been suddenly overtaken by gloom as it continued to rain. The man in front of me carried on laughing as well. He then stopped when I turned to face him. I made a quick observation. The coffee he didn't touch, the ashtray filled with used cigarettes, and the newspaper he was holding. His under eyes were filled with bags, but there was still a satisfied grin plastered on his face.

"Ah, love. The easiest form of manipulation and deception. Give it to the unloved, and it's already a sure win by the time it's removed." I just chuckled. Maybe that's also the reason why whenever I'm on the verge of loneliness, I'm also filled with ease at the end of the day.