all those rage, and i'm still here?

twelve

"Broken dreams"

I hate fear. I incredibly despise the feeling of fear and terror. I especially avoid feeling like that most of the time, but there are times when I get extremely overwhelmed by it.

Usually, that fear is realizing that I have only one life to live, and if I don't make this one work and worthwhile for me, I'd be living in pure regret. I've seen countless people with big dreams but bigger potential, only to be killed by reality. A dream will always be a dream. Be realistic, you can't possibly achieve that, not now, especially not in that situation. Better luck next...what, next life? I've heard that a lot of times. As a dreamer myself nothing pains me more but realizing I'll be living this life, one life without even reaching my dreams. I'm always told to focus on reality, and so you grind and grind, grind realistically for that realistic goal. The world doesn't tolerate delusion, and so it crushes the dreams of dreamers who hope to reach what they know is fulfilling for their lives.

I've seen people, countless people, seemingly unaware of how much they're turned similarly to robots programmed to work towards a realistic goal. Everybody lives a boring and mundane life. When you ask them about dreams, they get excited but usually lack the drive to achieve them. The gap between practicality and passion is always the farthest. The problem with me as a dreamer with lots of delusion is the fact that I don't think like that. I believe passion and practicality are one thing, only because I believe I was meant for something else, something fulfilling that I'll live for. I can't live my life realistically, it only brings me depression. Whenever I'm told to stop my delusional thinking and be realistic for a while, I go ballistic and have a breakdown over it. What can I say, anyway? I hate everything boring and mundane. I need purpose, I need fulfillment. I think that's the right way to live, or at least the healthiest for my soul. And so, I won't kill my passion, but I'm also not going to kill practicality. Why not blend both, how'd you think?