all those rage, and i'm still here?

sixteen

"Insecurity"

Insecurity was in front of me, sitting on her throne while cocking her head to the side, staring directly at me with a grin on her face.

"You're here again? You're overwhelmed, aren't you? Other people are all just better than you again?"

She chuckled, her tone mocking. The grin turned wider and she looked at me like that. Like that. The kind of look which doesn't speak, but certainly tells of how small you are in her eyes. It pissed me off.

"It's not like that." I defended myself.

"Playing safe, I guess? You must have been overwhelmed by jealousy."

"I don't think so." I pursed my lips, getting annoyed now.

She walked away from her throne, heading towards me with the same look and a grin on her face. She stood close to me as she caressed my hair and whispered.

"You're jealous of everyone again. They're all so talented and passionate, right? But you're nothing but some average human being who tells yourself you're good at your craft when you're not even half as good as others."

"It's not like you can lie to me. You often come here for the same reason. It's either you're overwhelmed or you're wallowing in self-pity." She added, but the mocking tone in her voice remained.

"I can tell. You're very easy to read." She says again.

"I'm doing my best in my craft," I said with gritted teeth. "I'm grateful to myself for at least trying."

"Trying?" She scoffed, a tiny laugh escaping her lips. "You always say that. Aren't you tired of yourself? Just admit that you're too scared of trying because you know you'll still fail. You've always been like that."

"I don't want to think like that anymore. I've changed. I'll just try now, I won't expect anything else." I answered with conviction. She walked around the room, whistling.

"Aren't you putting yourself too low? Or you've just realized that you could never be the same as anyone else? You're never going to be as excellent as them so to save yourself from getting hurt, you just settle for less." She taunted me again, just like always. She knew my weaknesses, just like always. She used it against me, and I could get used to it.

"There's no purpose for the competition. My only competition is just no one but myself."

She laughed. "What? Such a stupid reason. Just admit that you're scared of actually putting yourself out in the world because you know everyone else is better than you."

I couldn't help but feel pissed. My anger grew, and my fists had balled up. I looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.

"Don't ever question my choices."

"Why not? You're good at playing safe."

"I'm not. It's your fault. You're always there to ruin things."

At that moment, her eyes darkened as she walked towards me and faced me with so much hatred in her red eyes. She grabbed my shirt and made me look at her.