Choices We Cant Make

two: twenty four

It is my birthday. I slept a wonderful sleep, awaking to a late morning. A VERY late morning. It is 2PM. I practically missed half of my day, and the second I wake up, I pray Rebecca covered for me at the office.

I open my phone - which is right beside my left cheek, and right beside my right cheek is my journal (that was not about him)

The curtains are drawn, and my bed is a mess. My bedroom looks worse than my college dorm. I have books all over- mostly of Alcott and LM Mont. A big pile of clothes- were comfortably kept on the chair I never used. My keyboard- yes I play the keys- was growing dusty and had around 7 dirty coffee mugs on the shelf above it. Scary. A scary scary, painting, of dark red flowers, which were not of rose- was above my head. Titled, in such a way- I could see the dark red petals above me, seeming as the most ugly plant to ever exist.

But- my eyes were wrapped around my phone.

2 texts.

Zero calls.

43 mails.

(My life ~ )

Rebecca had texted me "Happy Birthday" and "I have sent your edit"

The second was from him.

HIM.

When I saw his number - which I had blocked- unblocked- blocked , deleted- unblocked- I woke up. I popped my eyes, my heart raced- WHAT HAD HE WRITTEN.

HE WISHED ME AT MIDNIGHT,

He remembered, Violet. He remembered.

He remembered that, the first time we ever made love was when I turned 16, on the 18th of September 2014. Maybe, thats why he remembered my birthday- as the day he lost his V-card, ironically now he has lost his V.

We, we are not together anymore. And we are NOT friends. We are strangers- with a past. With a beautiful shared past, we ended, to live a beautifully different future. Did we? Or is it too soon?

ANYWAYS.

He had typed "good morning b-girl."

Birthday girl.

me: you have wished me already.

An immediate response

him: Doesn't matter. Im in town, wanna meet?"

NO. VIOLET NO. we promised we would stay away from him. Of course he wants to get back - but no. Not today. But, I dont have any better plans. And I want "plans"

Him: Strews in an hour?"

Me:Okay

I had an hour to dress up. I wear my yellow top- which Rebecca had borrowed from me. She told me It was a good top. So, I took it. I wash my hair- I had not washed it in 2 weeks.

My hair feels alive- as if life was finally gifted it. Speaking of gifts- I hope Sam gets me one.

At one end, I want him to crave me- but I also dont want to get back with him. Why? You tell me!

I love my Sam. He is not my Sam. He is not that Sam.

I reach Strews, an underrated Burger restaurant just a mile away from Sam's brother's house- where Sam is living in, I don't know what he is doing in town. That would make a nice conversation- but then again Sam does not share a lot. He never told me why we would never work.

I enter the restaurant and see Sam, and his brother Jack. I wasn't expecting Jack.

Jack always seemed like the loving elder brother. He used to be very shy and isolated- now? Now he seems happy.

Jack seems like a gentlemen this afternoon- something I never thought would become of him.

"Been long Jack. You seem nice"

"Well thank you, ms. Brew"

"Sam? It's nice seeing you, in person. After so long."

"Yes it has been a month" replies Sam

It has been 5 weeks and 4 days. It has been more than a month.

We order fries and steak.

Jack looks at Sam, and Sam gives him that "shy intimidated look"

"Violet, Im in town for some work." Sam informs me.

Wow, Sam actually answered something without me even asking. Wow. I raise my eyebrows- which might have intimidated him. Jack seems to keep his nose out, he is scrolling through his phone the entire time we converse.

"I want to introduce you to my friend, Blue Becker. His grandfather owns a publishing - Darthmont Publishing. Our company did some advertising with them, I grew as a close associate - and I might have suggested your name to the publishing firm I deal with"

I choke on my water. WHAT. Sam did mention working for some publishing unit when we were dating, but we were so busy fighting I did not bother.

Darthmont publishing. My eyebrows rise higher than they ever have . I am happy- shocked- and perplexed without even knowing the entire thing. Im on the edge of my seat, and he continues

"They want you to work with them... co write a book. Blue Becker wants to write a book. But, he needs someone who can do the writing while he gives the storyline. I know you must have birthday plans, but I got 2 invites to attend their charity even tonight. You will get to meet Blue- informally for once." he nods

I know the Beckers. They do not have a really good reputation around the literary society. Some say, they only take rich artists who write a lot of smut under their wings, otherwise they take in toddler rhyme books, because they sell.

However, Darthmont was famous- for publishing my favorite book "Some Creatures Unknown". Gregory Becker had written it. THAT Gregory Becker- founder of Darthmont and father of Blue.

Maybe, if I became a good friend of Blue I could meet Gregory.

Maybe.

After lunch, which wasn't more eventful. I came back to my room. I cleaned it. Not to make it look good- but to find something wearable. This yellow top did not to justice to the event. I needed something formal. Something red or black.

I find a red lace top and pair it with my black suit set.

Amazing.

I send Rebecca a picture. She replies "Stacy from HR is already banging the boss"

That makes me smile. I like Rebecca- she makes me feel nice.

The night is ahead of me- and something in me tells me that things might finally change.