Choices We Cant Make

32: no rings

Violet POV

I could feel how tense Blue was the second Greg stepped in. They both seemed to have a violence-free conversation in the fire exit balcony. Greg came back inside and started helping me around, and for some weird reason it felt good. He respected me, and I showed him equal respect in the exchange.

By the time I was done talking with Aunt Arma Greg had left, and it was just me and Blue in the bed. We both decided against having any conversations- I respected the silence because Blue needed his time, but the excessive silence was drowning me out eventually and so I decided to break it.

And now, thats somehow why me and Blue are on our way to get....ice cream? I dont know I am severely confused- but thats how I have been all my life and I am alive arent I?

"Blueeeeee" I call at him in Annoyance. Blue is driving us to the ice cream place and for some reason he is all nervous and sweaty. Wait no. IS HE GOING TO BREAK UP WITH ME? Did greg say him something about not being in a relationship.

God. No.

"Violet ...ah fuck okay" Blue says. God I am tensing up even more.

Blue stops the car, breathes in and turns to me. Frick this is painful to watch. He pats on to his laps and asks me to strangle him. I oblige of course making myself comfortable on him. He pushes the seat back so we have at least an inch in between us. This seems steamy.

Blue searches for something in my eyes and then his eyes trail down to my lips but he refrains from kissing me. I squeeze him underneath me and look at him through my eyelashes.

Blue's voice grows low and husky as he begins

"I love you. I love how wild you are- the way you always have something to say, something to think about. I love how fierce and brave you are. I love how the world doesn't scare you, you walk with your head high. I love how you own your heart and you let everyone know for whom it is beating for.....Violet fuck you have this magical way of pulling me towards you. Your words...said and written...they captivate me so much. And although the both of us have very little love from around us - we both seem to build up an insane amount for each other. I love you...and I cant imagine living without you- ever. You are the love of my life who wont ever leave me, dressed in a beautifully mundane girl- with every bit interesting..." he looks at me searching for my reaction.

I melt. I melt at his words. God. I have so much to say but I want to Listen to him. I feel as if the entire world just paused and let us have this moment with just us.

"Greg told me... to not let you go. The truth is I can not. Never. I love you...and Violet I know your past has been ugly and that we both have so many curious questions left unanswered. But I love you and that fucking force is enough for us to be there for each other....All I can imagine is for you to be by my side, as I say the words 'I do' for the women I love."

My heart does a summersault. Is he? NO. Is he?

"Will you marry me Violet?"

HE IS.

And just with that single sentence I break into a thousand tears. I never felt loved- with only an Aunt by my side, and Sam for the ugliest ending- I never felt loved to this great extent. I never thought I could ever love someone this much- this fierce force that is making me cry right now.

I kiss Blue. I kiss him and with that I say my yes.

"No ring?" I taunt. Blue looks around and lets out a chuckle

"Well I did not even get on one knee" he smirks. God do I love him.

I know I dont need a ring and Blue knows that I'll marry him even without one.

"Dont worry we will go to the store tomorrow and you can choose one for yourself" he answers and just with that I kiss him again. I mean come on- I still want a shiny piece of jewelry.

We drive to the ice cream shop and have a wonderful time.

A day I shall never forget.

-.-

By midnight we both are tucked back in. The last time we snuggled together , we were just girlfriend- and boyfriend. Now? Now we are fiancé's. YAYYY. I love my life.

I set my phone beside my bed and drift off with Blue's arms wrapped around my waist. How did life become so good? It feels as if I was a depressed loner who would self pity herself because of her past just yesterday, yet here I am now, under the roof of the house I share with my soon to be husband. With the man my heart loses its beats for- for the man I love.

Ah cheesy but hey thats like 80% of american diet.

-.-

Bzz bzz

I wake up to the vibration of my phone. It's 6AM and someone has called me. What?

Before picking up I look at Blue- wait no I look at my fiance. Ah. I am engaged, without a ring, but hell I am engaged.

Blue looks so peaceful. All I want to do right now is kiss his cute face but no wait someone is calling me - it must be urgent.

I pick up the phone with a very annoying tone

"Hello?" I ask

Silence.

"Hey-Lo??" I ask again.

Silence.

"Yes umh" the caller says. Wait I recognize that voice. I'd recognize his voice in a second- its the same voice tha-

"Its Sam" I freeze. It is him. A part of me was genuinely hoping it wouldn't be him. My past returning as a ghost the very next day of my engagement. Fricking cute.

"Please dont hang up...I...fuck I wanna talk" he states.

I cant let Blue know of this, not now at least. Not after he very much proposed to me.

"Okay" I mutter as I walk out of our room and go into the kitchen for some privacy. I do have several questions I want answers to. What was up with Jack and Sam that day in the hospital? What made Sam finally give up on me?

Although I must not ponder over my past - but hell I wanna know what happened.

I hate how much power Sam has right now. We haven't spoken in months, yet whatever he is planning to say right now will for sure scar me- after all he was my first love, someone I dont love the way I once perhaps did. And even with that, what I have with Blue is way way more.

We both had the ugliest form of love.