Choices We Cant Make

fifteen: news

BLUE POV

It's 7:59 and Violet is already here. She is sitting in the lobby with Suzy. They both are talking about something. I hope its not me they are talking about.

After reading Violet's diary all I want to do is hug her and kiss her again. I want to tell her that everything's fine.

She loves me and I love her.

It does not need to be so chaotic.

But the book.

I want to fucking kill that critic. To be honest, we did plan on writing the book in order to get a good reputation - well, a better reputation.

That was my father's idea. God why did we all even agree to this. It was one thing to be labelled cheap but it's another to be labelled as a scam.

My dad's book, so far written, is all true. Nothing is false. My father lived a very passionate life until our company started growing and money rolled in his account.

Anyways, I dread to imagine what Violet must be thinking.

Does she think that I lied to her about Greg's life? I hope not. I need to make it clear for her.

Maybe she will step back from the deal- she has more than 2 reasons to.

Anyways. I quickly look across the room and make sure the room is tidy before I can call for Violet.

When Violet came in today earlier my heart almost broke. After reading about her past I have been nothing but devastated.

How can she ever love me?

My laptop is on my desk and my phone is in my pocket.

Nothing much distracting is going around... this meeting has to be productive. I dont care about the book. I can end it all.

All I care about is my Violet. What if we never see each other ever again? It haunts me. Despite fully aware that she wont ever love me, I still want her to. I hope for it at least.

Before my over thinking can take hold of me I call for Violet,

God I am so nervous.

Violet enters and places herself on one of the armchairs in front of me. I am standing at the opposite side, facing my desk.

My eyes are sucking her thoughts and my hands are on either sides of the table. I begin

"Violet. The internet is a troubling place." I assert. I need to be strong despite the Vision of her getting raped haunting every brain cell I own.

"I agree thats why I want to know the truth from you." she answers

"I have been nothing but honest to you since the beginning of our agreement."

Violet does not respond. She quietly nods her face.

"What did you both fight about in the bar?" She asks instead. She raises her eyebrows and I look away.

I look down on my desk which has a little pen scratch on it - the shape of a thumb.

"Money. He needed money. He lost a bet over something- thats what he said me. He needed 20,000 and I drew him a check but he started saying stuff he shouldn't have so I took the check and tore it. Thats what made him physical" I answer, honestly.

She nods her head.

"What was the real reason...for the money? What do you think it was?" I knew she would ask this. But I do not try to even hide the truth.