Choices We Cant Make

nine: love

(1 month later)

It has been a month of acceptances.A month full of spending my days with Blue. We both have gotten along so well and have made so many memories. Like messing up Susan's OCD planner when we wrote the 4th chapter of our book, taking pictures just because we looked good enough while writing the 7th, stalking Susan's instagram and teaching Blue how instagram worked when we did the 9th and making bets about Rebecca's outfits during the 6th, 7th, 8th, 9th and 12th. And we have just begun this journey.

We have to write the 13th chapter today. I am still not aware of the location, so, I might as well just walk into his office. That seems to work most of the time. Our meetings are usually, after, 5 i.e after my work shift here.

I can not wait for it to be 5. I can never wait for it to be 5.

-.-

It is 4:55 and I decided to leave 5 mins early. Just as I walk past the elevator I crash into Blue.

I have met Blue so many times this month, yet, every time I see his beautiful grey eyes, excitement runs through my body. I want to know him, experience his mind and understand his past. I... dont know why? But, I just want to, since the day I met him at the charity event.

"What are you thinking about?" Blue asks me, staring into my eyes. My eyes which are lost in oblivion - imagining all the things I want to learn from him, browsing through all the questions I want to ask him.

"Nothing. I was thinking about where we should go." I half lie.

"How about my place? I have never taken you there." his house? A part of me wants to say no, and keep things professional but a greater part of me wants to go into his house and invade every wall and every furniture inside.

Sensing my internal battles, Blue steps back.

"How about the cafe nearby?" The same cafe we worked on 3 chapters in? Yes. Sure. Play it safe blue. play it safe.

"Works."I give off a little disappointed expression, which I thoroughly believe was not very loud.

-.-

We reach the cafe, just 2mins away from my building.

Blue sits right across me, and the table is so short that his knees touch mine. That single touch of his knee on mine sends shivers down my body. Blue and I work for the next hour over the 13th chapter.

I like how focused Blue is. He doesn't let anything disturb his work ethic. His eyes narrow down and he looks into his laptop as if he found gold inside it. I wish he looked at me like that.

No Violet what is wrong with you?

At 6:13 my phone buzzes and it's a text from Jack.

JACK. The same Jack who refused to talk to me, and left things to misery. The same Jack texts me, a month too late -

I am sorry Violet for what happened. Sam has been miserable since. He doesn't talk to me anymore, but he misses you. Dearly. He didn't mean any of the things he said to you.

My mind goes blank. Sam was supposed to be the love of my life. Does he really still have feelings for me? Blue is sitting right in front of me. Our knees are touching. My heart is racing. Blue is typing. Blue keeps typing. I start typing.

Jack. He blocked me.

My mind races down memory lane, revisiting every event that took place that night.

Before I start to cry, I realize Blue's eyes on me. He no longer eyes at his screen. He is looking dead into me. Into my soul. My mind is filled up with my undying love for Sam and my mixed emotions for Blue. I have to pick a side, even though non of my sides are real. Both sides could just be my assumptions. I look down at my thighs, and Blue continues to look into my eyes. After a solid minute, Blue asks

"Suzy told me about this restaurant- Strews. It's supposed to be a good place. I kind of skipped lunch so, would you mind for dinner tonight?"

My heart jumps. A sense of pride runs along my pride- I have known Strews longer than I have known Blue.

"Like a date?" My stupidity glows. Of course not! Im such a bozo. He doesn't feel the tension between us the way I do.

Blue chuckles. He smiles. I like Blue's smile.

"Yes. Okay? Im asking you out on a date. Would it be that bad for me to ask a lovely young lady out?"

My heart jumps again. I dont know what to say, other than - Yes. And so I do.

A wave of relief washes down Blue's face, and that makes me nothing but flattered.

Blue smiles. Violet smiles. Two beautiful mouths smile. Blue gets back to typing and I get back to typing, this time, on my laptop. Our smiles remain, imprinted on our faces.

I guess I leaned towards Blue's side, even I know that my mind is full of assumptions.