VIOLET POV
"What?"
What.
Is.
Blue.
Saying?
It hurts. It physically hurts knowing he lied to me. He read my journal.
He knows my past.
"Violet..I am so sorry. I-"
"YOU ARE SORRY?" I scoff. "You are... unbelievable! How dare you think it is okay for you to read my journal and then, THEN lie to me about it!"
"Violet...please. I have -"
"No explanation I KNOW! I cant believe you! I trusted you!"
"Is it really that bad that I know your past?"
"When? When did you read it?"
"In your apartment. After Benno's I drove to your apartment - it was open. Your journal was on your chest. I.... I only read the 9th chapter and almost puked."
My heart paces. He read that chapter.
He knew all along.
"I didn't mean anything in that journal. I dont ... I dont" I hesitate. I hesitate because Im hurt.
"What?" he seems confused.
"I dont like you anymore "
"How can you. do this to me....over what- a journal? Im sorry Violet I lied to you. But I promise from this point on we will work things out." Blue justifies.
I am still- very, very angry. He knows I was once pregnant. God! How much does he know.
I feel exposed and naked.
I leave. I open the door
"Violet you cant just leave! We both have the same flight. We have to work this out."
"I was raped." I whisper.
"I know." Blue tenses.
"Exactly. And it was not from me"
I dont know whats wrong with me, but as I say that I crumble to the ground and sob.
I sob remembering the pain of bearing a rapists child.
I sob reliving that dreadful night.
Blue comforts me.
"I love you" he says.
Thats all he says.
He whispers he is sorry and that he loves me and I just shake my head.
I realize I am having a panic attack.
My heart races and my eyes are wide open in despair. My heart doesn't seem to calm down and I start sweating as I insanely cry my heart out.
Blue just watches.
He tries consoling me, but I cant take it anymore.
I hate it.
I hate my past.
I hate everything.
I remember how much I mused death the following week of my rape. The worst thing about this, is that it reminds me of Sam. It reminds me that someone loved me with all his heart.
I need to breathe but I cant.
"Blue. Why did you read my journal" I spasm as I ask.
His face tenses
YOU ARE READING
Choices We Cant Make
Romance(Violet) With a gruesome past I walked into a charity event that forever changed my life. The Blue man with grey eyes now questions my ability to ever fall in love again. Will Blue ever be able to love me the way Sam once did? Will I ever move on fr...
