Choices We Cant Make

ten: strews

BLUE POV

We finish with our chapter by 7. I sit on her passengers seat while she drives to Strews.

Suzy never told me about Strews. Sam did. Sam had mentioned about meeting Violet in some restaurant to initiate my deal. That restaurant was Strews.

I can sense of the pride running off of Violet. Violet seems happy knowing that the food is good there. But who cares about the food?

It has been a month since Sam left Violet's life. I know Violet can sense the tension between us. I also know that she will never make the first move, considering her past.

I personally have never been in a relationship. I have always had girls over, but I never was in a relationship. Violet may be the first person I want to be in a relationship with.

Violet is everything to me.

My day starts with thinking about what Violet would wear for the day. By 11 I'm going through all the voice notes she sent me about the chapters. God do I love her voice. By 2 I'm anticipating for it to be 5.

By 5 I'm saying goodbye to Suzy.

My professional life is fucked up, but at least this book will do well, I hope.

We reach Strews. It looks like one of those sports-clubs-turned-family-restaurants. It has plaid tablecloths and semi-leather chairs. We both pick a spot and I sit across her.

Our knees dont touch the way they did in the cafe. I want to ask the manager to give us a shorter table, but without any appropriate reason, I keep my mouth shut.

I order a Beer and Violet asks for Diet coke.

Violet has a beautiful red natural blush on her cheeks. She removes her jacket and looks up at my face. Within a second she looks down and turns a darker shade of red. I smile.

Violet's shyness makes me smile.

I ask, "You can look at me. I wont kill you."

"I know." Violet responds, as fast as she can. She does not look at me.

"Then look at me." I smile even more.

Violet looks at me. But turns her face down again in a second. She turns even more red. Before she turns into a full fledged angry bird, I smile and laugh my heart out and Violet feels nothing but embarrassment.

She looks up. She smiles and relaxes herself. She laughs. Violet laughs.

"This is so awkward but I am loving it" ,she says.

Violet smiles. The waiter brings us our drinks. Before Violet can start drinking she opens her phone.

Violet stops smiling.

I stop smiling.

Violet's face turns into regret.

Does she regret coming here?

Violet stands up. Violet walks towards the exit. I stand up.

Oh no.

"Where are you going? Did I do something?" Worry meets my eyes and my mind goes a thousand places. What did I do wrong?

"No...You dont deserve this."

"What do I not deserve?"

"This" She says moving her hands in between us. "I'm sorry. Sam loves me. I-" Right. I should have guessed. I should not have asked her out this soon.

They have known each other since they were sixteen, sorry not known- they have LOVED each other since they were 16. A month could never wash that down. But, anger pulls my eyes inside. I want answers.