Shadows Of Reminance

Chapter 22: Briana

⚠️Warning: Anxiety Attack & Self Harm
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As I stepped onto my floor, a wave of unease washed over me, tightening my chest and sending my heart racing. The keys slipped from my trembling fingers, clattering against the cold, unforgiving floor. Panic surged within me, a relentless force threatening to engulf my senses.

With trembling hands, I fumbled with the lock, the metal seeming to taunt me with its stubborn resistance. Tears welled in my eyes, blurring the world around me as I fought to maintain control. The events of the day bore down on my shoulders, threatening to crush me beneath its suffocating pressure.

Finally, the door relented, swinging open to reveal the sanctuary of my apartment. But there was no relief in its familiar embrace—only the stark reminder of the constant chaos brewing inside me. I stumbled inside, my body feeling foreign and disjointed, as if I were merely a spectator to my own existence.

With shaky steps, I made my way to the kitchen, my body moving on autopilot. I reached for a glass hoping that a sip of water would help calm the rising panic within me. My fingers trembling violently as I struggled to maintain my grip. But the glass slipped from my grasp, crashing to the floor in a thousand pieces with a loud shattering noise, something else broke along the glass.

Oh god, what did I do

A surge of panic seized me, as the shards glinted menacingly in the harsh light. Without thinking, I sank to my knees, my hands moving on their own to gather the scattered pieces. And then, a sharp pain shot through my palm, a crimson droplet staining the pristine floor.

Drip. Drip. Drip.

I watched in horror as crimson droplets pooled on the floor. I stared at the blood, mesmerized by its steady flow, each drop echoing in the deafening silence of my apartment. It was strange how the sight of my own blood brought a strange sense of calm, as if the pain grounded me in reality amidst the chaos of my mind. The room seemed to spin around me, the air thick with the weight of my panic. In that moment, I felt the urge to pick up more glasses to experience the warm blood drip by as the pain calmed me, it stopped the chaos inside me. Maybe, the chaos just needs blood and that it will stop once I give it the blood, it needs. And then I will be free of this chao-

no, NO, NO, NO, NO. Not again, not those thoughts again

I push myself up and wince when I realise that a shard of glass pierced into my left foot. As I walked towards the bathroom, drops of blood and bloody footprints stain what used to be white tiles.

The icy tendrils of the shower enveloped me, wrapping around my body like a protective shield against the storm raging within. With each drop of water that cascaded down upon me, I felt the weight of my anxiety begin to lift, the suffocating grip of my panic loosening its hold.

The clothes clinging to my skin became drenched, the fabric heavy with the weight of my turmoil, but I paid no mind to the discomfort. All that mattered was the cool relief that the water provided, offering a temporary escape from the searing heat that had consumed me moments before.

Closing my eyes, I focused on the rhythmic sound of my own breathing, willing myself to find some calm amidst the chaos. But the memories lingered, haunting me with their relentless grip, as if refusing to release me from their suffocating embrace.

Images flashed through my mind like fragments of a broken mirror, each one a painful reminder of the past that I had fought so desperately to escape. The weight of my secrets bore down on me like a suffocating blanket, threatening to crush me beneath their unbearable burden.