The Songs of Winter | Robb Stark

Chapter 5

   After my performance I alert Robb that I need some fresh air and go outside. Thank the Gods my voice held steady I believe I did really well but after the performance Cersei Lannister stared at me with a pretty stern look so I guess to her I did something wrong.

  As I continue walking I hear voices speaking so I hide behind a wall not wanting to be caught.

   "Well, you're always welcome on the Wall. No bastard was ever refused a seat there." My heart drops at the familiar voice that intrudes this still night causing a small flashback to intrude my thoughts. 'The next time I encounter Uncle Benjen, I will be seeking a position at the Night's Watch.' That's what Jon told me at the Godswood.

Is that Benjen? Since when did he come back?

"So take me when you go back." Jon says.

Please say no. Please say no. I chant in my head over and over again.

"Father will let me if you ask him, I know he will." Jon says.

Peaking my head around the wall I can see Benjen shake his head "The Wall isn't going anywhere."

   "I'm ready to swear your oath." Jon replies.

Come on Benjen don't give up without a fight.

  "You don't understand what you'd be giving up. We have no families, none of us will ever father sons -"

    "I don't care about that." Jon says making my stomach sink a little.

   "You might....if you knew what it meant." Benjen says with a resigned sigh."I'd better get inside, rescue your father from his guests. We'll talk later."

   Once Benjen departs, I stride out from my hiding place, a storm of emotions raging within me. "How can you say you don't care?" My voice trembles with hurt and frustration, catching Jon off guard.

With a heavy sigh, Jon runs a hand through his hair, his own turmoil evident in his expression. "Aida, I don't think you understand—"

"You have people here who love you, Jon. Robb, Arya, your father, Rickon, Bran, and even Sansa, despite her pretending because of her mother," I say pretty much angry. "So don't tell me you're leaving because of me."

Jon's jaw tightens, his gaze searching mine for understanding. "I need to leave," his voice wavers with emotion. "Not just for you, but for me and for Robb. He deserves to have a chance with you without me complicating things, we can play pretend all we want but you're betrothed to Robb." He says raising his voice. His admission hangs heavily between us, laden with the weight of our shared turmoil.

As the weight of Jon's words settles over us, a heavy silence envelops the courtyard. I take a step back, needing space to process the tumult of emotions swirling within me. Jon watches me with a pained expression, his own turmoil mirrored in his eyes.

Suddenly, the sound of footsteps breaks the silence. Robb comes into the courtyard, his brow furrowed with concern at the sight of our facial expressions. "Aid, Jon, what's going on?" he asks, his gaze flickering between us.

I swallow hard, struggling to find the right words to explain the whirlwind of emotions churning inside me. "It's nothing, Robb," I manage to say, my voice barely above a whisper. "Just... a misunderstanding."

Jon's eyes meet mine, silently pleading for understanding. Despite the ache in my heart, I nod in agreement, unwilling to burden Robb with the weight of our shared dilemma.

Robb studies us for a moment, his expression unreadable. "Alright," he finally says, though a hint of doubt lingers in his voice. "My mother's looking for you Aid."