Besfriend's Boyfriend | sunsun

29

It hurt.

Everything hurt.

His chest rose and fell so much it ached, throat burning with every sharp intake of air. Eyes stinging and mind reeling, Sunoo felt motionless. It was like he was weighed down, pushing through time with every movement.

And then... And then everything turned into pleasure.

Sunghoon's lips were on his own. Soft and light and unmoving and taking all of his pain away.

Sunoo didn't feel claustrophobic, caged in and trapped. No, he felt so free, so light and serene, like he could float away at any moment.

His chest didn't ache anymore, and his throat didn't burn. Instead it felt like butterflies were unfolding inside of him. His eyes fell shut at the blissful feeling.

And if anything else hurt, it didn't matter.

▪︎☆▪︎

Everything felt so intense.

His mind had left him long ago, thoughts of his enemy and rationality even more so. Nothing made sense, and yet everything did.

Sunoo's lips were on his own.

Sunoo's.

They were both still, entirely unmoving except for the steady decrease in their heavy breaths, chests beginning to grow more calm with every passing second.

Sunoo's lips were on his own.

Sunoo's.

They were so soft. Sunghoon's heartbeat increased. His eyes were closed but he desperately wanted to open them to see if Sunoo's were closed too. They were so soft.

It felt so good. Sunoo was warm and almost delicate to the touch. An uncontrollable need passed through Sunghoon to reach forward and find out if the rest of Sunoo felt like that too. Would his waist be delicate? The exposed skin be warm? It felt so good.

▪︎☆▪︎

Somewhere through the bliss and the pleasure, Sunoo wondered what Sunghoon was thinking. Through the need to continue and the fear of pulling away, Sunoo wondered if Sunghoon feared the same.

Thoughts evening, consciousness returning only to ascend to somewhere more heavenly than before, Sunoo wondered if Sunghoon would kiss him again.

▪︎☆▪︎

This had to end.

It had to.

With every second that passed, Sunghoon knew that it would have to be the last one. He'd have to pull away and he'd lose the feeling of Sunoo's lips on his own, grounding and clarifying, and it would only be a memory.

Sunghoon didn't want this to be a memory.

Fear blossoming within him, heartbeat loud in his ears and the beginnings of confusion clouding his thoughts, Sunghoon ignored them all. He pushed them away and focused on the feeling of Sunoo, because he didn't want this to be a memory. Even if for a second longer.

▪︎☆▪︎

More than anything Sunoo wanted more. He wanted to move his lips, he wanted to feel Sunghoon's tongue slide over his own, he wanted to know what it would feel like to bite into the plush flesh of Sunghoon's lips.

It was overwhelming - the balance of too little and too much.

This was everything Sunoo wanted and it was consuming him entirely, but it was everything Sunoo needed more of and he was desperate for it.

Breathless, devoted, and distant shouts breaking his state of euphoria, Sunghoon pulled away.

For a moment Sunoo swore he felt the older press their foreheads together but the touch was gone before he could indulge in the thought, and then there was no touch left.

▪︎☆▪︎

"I-" Sunghoon swallowed, eyes heavy as he opened them, light flooding his vision. He looked up to the younger, their eyes locking instinctively, and Sunghoon thought he saw stars in them.

Sunoo blinked, looking timid as his head tilted down, gaze lifted to Sunghoon still. A strand of hair fell into his eyes and Sunghoon watched it with the need to reach forward again.

He held his hands together, like he had to physically restrain himself. His heart was still beating rapidly and something unfamiliar washed over him, warm and desperate and intense and almost sad. Sunghoon wasn't sure if he wanted to know what it was.

"I wanted to-" Sunghoon paused, licked over his bottom lip. Briefly, his eyes flickered down to Sunoo's lips, the memory of what they had just done burning on his tongue. "I wanted to help."

Not waiting for a reply, and not certain he'd receive one, Sunghoon continued, "I-I saw that... I think. I saw it somewhere for w-when-"

Whether it was the look in Sunoo's eyes, the way his heart beated too loud to hear his own words, or the way words didn't look coherent in his mind, Sunghoon was finding it very hard to talk. To understand. "You couldn't breathe s-so..." He took a deep breath, letting the look in Sunoo's eyes ground him. "So I wanted to help."

"You did." Sunoo breathed just above a whisper, looking surprised when his voice wasn't shaky or broken.

It made Sunghoon happy. Instantly, at the knowledge he had in fact helped Sunoo, Sunghoon felt relieved, proud even.

Nodding slowly, he wanted to ask if Sunoo was okay. He wanted to know if the younger was hurt or exhausted or wanted to talk. And then he wanted to know if Sunoo's mind was reeling in the exact same way his was.

Was this confounding for him too?

Did Sunoo feel like he was at war with himself? Mind and body and entire being rethought and unrecognisable. Confusing and consuming and frustratingly overcomplicated. Was Sunoo scared too, or was it just him?

However, Sunghoon wasn't brave enough.

"I should... I should go." Was what fell from his lips instead without permission.

Another part yelled at him to stay. Another wanted to kiss Sunoo again.

"I have to go."

"O-oh." Sunoo spoke hesitantly, taking a small breath and nodding minutely. "Right. Yeah."

It was only then Sunghoon realised neither of them had moved, bodies still intimately close. Looking down, heartbeat increasing, and then looking back up to Sunoo's eyes, heartbeat increasing tenfold, Sunghoon stepped back.

Once again, as he walked backwards and tore his eyes away from Sunoo, it felt like an eternity until their gazes separated. Once they did, it was easier to breathe, yet it was harder all the same.

Doors pushed open, doors closed, legs taking him a few steps outside before he stilled completely. Sunghoon began to doubt any of that had even happened.

Each second, slow and gentle, passed through his mind again. A memory.

Before he knew it, Sunghoon was lifting his hand to his face, fingers delicate as they touched his lips. A fraction of what Sunghoon felt when it was Sunoo offering his touch ran through his fingertips, heavenly bliss making his eyes flutter shut.

Only one word echoed in his mind, something that Sunoo had been defined as before, something that made sense now - angel.